Attractive and Beautiful


As women, we naturally want to be beautiful. We want clear complexions and shiny hair; trim figures and feminine curves. None of that is bad. It’s not bad to want to look nice. But what happens when our desire to look nice turns into a hunger to attract? We want to be beautiful, but what is beauty? Is it found in our power to attract a man and hold him captive through lust? At what point might our thirst for outer beauty interfere with our ability to cultivate inner beauty?

Many of us have heard this saying from the Bible:


Image result for beauty is vain but a woman who fears the lord

Beauty is vain.

Why is that?

Because it doesn’t last.

So, smooth complexions will eventually get wrinkly, shiny hair will turn dull, trim figures will get plump, and feminine curves will become hunched frames supported by canes. It can’t be helped.

If we spend all our energy in trying to be beautiful on the outside, it will be wasted; it will ultimately come to nothing. It’s like trying to invent a perpetual motion machine: there is no such thing. Everything in this universe is subject to deterioration, our faces and figures included.

How about being attractive? So many women want to attract attention. They want attention from males so they will feel wanted, and they want attention from females so they can make them envious and thereby feel superior. Isn’t it all vain and rather heartless? No man, no matter how attracted he is to a woman, will ever love her for what’s on the outside. I’ve never seen it happen . . . have you? A man might lust after a woman’s body, he might admire her beauty, but he will never respect her or truly love her for those things. Love comes from somewhere deep inside, somewhere noble and spiritual, close to the place where duty and honor, conviction and purpose reside in our hearts. A place where we hide and treasure that which we cherish, that which we would die for. Men don’t die for whores; they use them.

If we want men to love us, dressing in skimpy clothes and publishing skanky profile photos isn’t going to do it. Being women of character–women of solid, sterling, inner worth–will. My husband appreciates my face and my figure; he delights in our steamy marriage relationship. Those are important to him, and to me. But he loves me not for those things; he loves me for me. He respects me for the woman I am inside: my opinions, my beliefs, my loyalty, my kindness, my devotion. I think it is worthwhile to care for our appearance, for we (if we are sincere believers in Jesus) are the temple of God. But everything in moderation; we must not neglect our souls.


Hopefully, I do not appear to contradict my convictions through my interest in being a feminine woman: I am growing my hair out long, which at this point, is only to my waist; I am also investigating natural ways to obtain a healthy, glowing complexion; I do sit ups every morning in an attempt to tighten my abs and smooth out my gushy “mommy tummy”; I wear makeup every now and then; I try to dress nicely. But if I focus too much on those things, they could become idols to me, and divert my attention from what matters most. An imbalance will occur if we do not remember God’s words to us:





Not excessive or costly.

When we, as Christian women and followers of the Son of God, get dressed and do our hair and makeup, it should be with those goals in mind. If we are not modest, we dishonor our Lord. If we act or dress like shameless hussies, we dishonor our Lord. If we are not sober-minded–if we act in a senseless, foolish way–we dishonor our Lord. If we are excessive in our attempt to be beautiful through elaborate hair styles or gobs of makeup; or, if we are excessive in the way we dress by being too gaudy or “rich” (our clothing and accessories may not actually be expensive, but they may at least appear so), we dishonor our Lord. When I do my hair, yes, I want it to look nice. But, my aim is to find a practical way to keep it out of my face. So, if I do a braid, it will not be elaborate; it will be functional. When I do my makeup, I will always try to make it look as natural as possible while delineating and shadowing those features that I want to stand out a bit more; I won’t hide behind a mask. And I will build a simple wardrobe without spending a lot of money.

I’m not interested in attracting men other than my husband. I’m not out to prove that I’m more beautiful than other women. I do desire to please God. If I can do that while being beautiful on the outside, great! But what’s most important to me is what’s on the inside. It’s not that being attractive or being beautiful is wrong; it’s that we should be the most beautiful in what truly matters, and attractive only to the one man in the world a woman should be attracting: her own husband. As long as we have those things in place, it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks; we can have a big nose (like I do), or a double chin, but stuff like that doesn’t make or break us. Truly beautiful women act and talk beautiful. Truly attractive women attract respect and honor.






21 thoughts on “Attractive and Beautiful

  1. I totally agree with you Jessica. I hate to say it but I’m uncomfortable being around women with so much makeup need a jackhammer to remove it. It’s fine to want to be pretty for our husbands but to want other men to pay attention to us is just wrong!


  2. So true.woman’s beauty is for her husband.I know that many young girls including christians try to be more pretty to attract other boys,to get evaluated from other girls.They seems to feel that is the way to be more popular,find boyfriend.

    How blessed if one girl has a mother who tells her value like you shared,who can be a role model of modest wife who keeps her beauty only for husband.God bless you,Jessica for your frankness for sharing!


  3. I do think that girls should be taught that physical beauty and attractiveness must flow always from following God in our lives and as women that means chastity and modesty as well as submission to God and our husbands.

    However pretty a young woman and however attractive her clothes she cannot be considered beautiful if she is impure and as a wife our bodies are created for motherhood not as sex objects.


      1. It saddens me that for example on Bridal websites women aspire to a romantic and traditional (not always modest) look. But forget that a Bride who is not pure and has not behaved with chastity cannot be beautiful just because she is wearing a white dress and veil.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Can I add that we need to educate our boys to understand that a girl who shows herself in public and does not save her beauty for her husband is NOT worthy of their attention.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Susanne: You’re right, that we need to teach our sons to have godly standards, and not just fall for the prettiest girl they see. To be fair, though, people can change, as I have. I used to be immodest, but it was a silly phase. Then I got smart and started following the word of God instead of my own insecurities. So, even if a girl starts out without much sense when it comes to modesty, that’s not to say one has to cross her off entirely. It seems appropriate to see if her immodesty is due to ignorance and poor upbringing, or if she really is a loose woman.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree and I was similarly not as modest as I should have been in my youth, partly because my mother didn’t educate me as well as she should have on the subject.

        Definitely within Christian families, and ideally within society generally modesty should be much more strongly promoted and it’s importance taught to girls from an early age. Whatever feminism says women and girls should regard it as their responsibility to dress modestly.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. We are traditionalist Catholics, but I think that through the Bible all conservative Christian communities come to share very similar beliefs. Especially about the family and the role and responsibilities of women.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am not an expert on theology or even on the details of the various Bible versions but to me Our Lady is simply a perfect example of Godly womanhood, perfect in her purity, chastity and above all submission to Our Lord.


  7. Lencia Hi. I personally think from my experience-(We travled a lot and on Sundays would visit any church to worship. Very bleßed time in our life) -that you will find true new born believers in any denomination or even out of denomination all together. Our Lord Jesus can not be limited to a mens organisation.And as the bible says:’The spirit roams where ever he pleases. ‘
    Sadly you will also find deceived members at any church you go. The enemy is at work also. We can earnestly pray for those and with love and grace point the salvation out to them. Love to yall


      1. How wonderful to hear that! I actually read your recent post about your encounter with Jesus, and it was fascinating! I’m so glad that my posts have helped you. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask–either through the comment section, or by contacting me by email.
        I truly hope the very best for you!

        Liked by 1 person

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