I’ve only been blogging for about two years, but I feel that I’ve grown in that time. There are several ways I think it has helped me, and several ways I think it has threatened me, in a sense.
Blogging has been a chance to release my mental and emotional energy. It isn’t always possible or convenient to let loose my thoughts on those around me. Courtesy, decorum, and time all put limits on what can and can’t be said. But with blogging, those restraints are (mostly) eliminated.
At the same time blogging has been a help to me, it has also been a danger. How much do I say? How much do strangers really need to know about me? Is it prudent to share my inner struggles with the public? There is a tendency to be too open. With the computer screen as my only companion, it’s easy to feel comfortable and in control.
And yet, the very fact that the computer screen is my only companion serves to indicate why I take this uncertain risk: I don’t want to be isolated from the world. If there were greater possibilities for friendship with like-minded ladies within my regular, local experience, I might not feel so compelled to search further. However, it’s not easy to find other women who believe in headcovering, or in a skirts-and-dresses-only lifestyle, or in leaving all family planning in God’s hands! In order to find those women, in order to get the support and encouragement I long for–need, even–it’s almost essential that I venture out.
Not content to only comment on other’s blogs (though I do love to do so!), I decided to start one of my own, where I could say whatever I wanted. Almost. I believe that it is always, no matter what venue one uses for communication, important to be cautious. Blogging offers freedom to speak our thoughts out loud, in a context that encourages self-expression, but people’s feelings can still be hurt, and I don’t want to do that.
How can I say what I believe and say it clearly, without getting caught in the trap that I try to avoid in everyday life, the trap of only wanting to say what I think while not caring about what others think or if it hurts them? This one has been hard. I think this has been the biggest area of growth for me, and I’ve barely started.
As I’ve been looking back over past posts, I realize that the posts I like the least are the ones where I’m telling people what to think; the posts I like the best are the ones where I’m telling people what I think, and why, while letting them be the ones to decide what they will do with their own lives.
This has been a rewarding journey for me, and I look forward to writing more, while improving my style and technique. Thanks for keeping up with my posts; I really appreciate you all!
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