My Faith Journey

What God Hates

It’s so easy to lie to ourselves. When we are in a tough situation, our feelings deceive us into accepting the “easiest” solution. We become prone to listen to bad advice, evil counsel. And that, coming sometimes even from our fellow Christians. This self-deception can happen in many–any–area of our lives, but today let’s look at divorce.

God hates divorce; the Bible says so (Malachi 2:16). So, we either try to convince ourselves that He really only hates it some of the time, and our case doesn’t apply (which is absurd), or that He does indeed hate it all the time, and our case is a sad but necessary evil, due not to our own selfishness, but entirely to the hard-heartedness of our spouse. Either way, we are twisting the Word of God for our own benefit.

I have heard Christians saying, “Well, sometimes separation is necessary; sometimes the other person is just so far gone past reason that the only solution is divorce.” Really? I think that’s a rather convenient solution. I don’t want to minimize the pain, or even sometimes, the danger, of one’s situation. I’m simply saying, we aren’t being faithful to God’s word. So, let’s stop being hypocritical, saying we love God, while in essence, we hate our own “flesh.” That’s just insane.

You know, I’ve experienced what it is to rebel against God’s word, all the while trying to convince myself that I had reason to do so. When I finally woke up, I looked around at the resulting damage, and I mourned. I literally wept bitter, bitter tears of regret. I loathed myself. I wondered why God even allowed me to exist, why He didn’t cut my life off with the snap of His holy finger. By now, I know why. It’s called “mercy.” Because of God’s mercy, I woke up from a dream, from denying reality. By God’s mercy, I began to heal from my self-inflicted wounds. By God’s mercy, I was able to recognize sin for what it was, and can now stare my reflection in the face with complete honesty; God granted me not only the clarity to see my sin, but to see His forgiveness wash it away.

So, if you have made some bad choices in your past, yes, there are consequences. But, God’s healing is available to all who are willing to recognize their own wickedness, and repent of it. Even for those who have been mislead into ripping apart what God Himself joined together. However, this healing cannot commence until we first accept the truth about ourselves. We must admit that God does indeed hate divorce (or fill in the blank of whatever sin you have committed), and stop mangling the truth so that it suits our own selfish purposes.

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10 thoughts on “What God Hates

  1. Devorce brings destructive damage to kids so often. I know that christian couple’s devorce can let their kids doubt about God,and His love.
    Even in case of non christian spouse devorced christian one unilaterally ,damage to kids still remains.

    I cannot judge and blame those who experienced devorce.

    But we should not select devorce as an easy solution .Serious discord between christian parents,devorce of christian couple..they often hurt children’s pure faith.I think that I also should not forget this fact.

    Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Yes, I agree with you, Sanae, that divorce hurts the children, too. Sometimes the parents think that by separating, they are “helping” the kids (“they don’t have to hear us fighting anymore,” etc.); however, I think that most kids would rather have their parents together and fighting, than apart and cold. They always have the hope that their parents will work things out, somehow. And they can, with God’s help. But it takes much perseverance and self-sacrifice.

      And yes, it does affect–very much so–the children’s faith. They may start to view their parents as hypocrites, too, since kids are very keen and can see past all the lies and rationalizations that adults use to justify their behavior.
      Jessica

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  2. Unfortunately I think the very fact that society allows divorce and that it is therefore an option changes the dynamic of marriage and makes it far more likely – no doubt to Our Lords disappointment.

    Once a couple are joined by God and they commit to each other physically and emotionally they are joined – until death for better or worse. It is their duty to try and make it work, but even if it doesn’t they are still husband and wife – whatever happens.

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    1. Yes. And it isn’t just about OUR plans, it’s about GOD’S plans. Maybe the way things are going in our relationship isn’t fitting with our own plans, but do we take the time to ask God how it fits with HIS? If we are married, you bet He has a plan for that relationship, no matter whether we understand it or not. Much is at stake, much more than our own happiness or lack thereof.

      Marriage is an image of Christ and the Church. We represent this truth in our relationship with our spouse–how well are we upholding that symbolism? Would Christ give up on us if he wasn’t happy with us? If we disappointed Him? Even if we hurt Him?

      Thanks,
      Jessica

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  3. I find it quite extraordinary that Christian Churches condone divorce. Even the Catholic Church stretches ‘annulment’ as a way around the issue.

    It is very hard on women who have abusive or un Christian husband’s but it is the cross they have to carry. Once you marry you are joined by God, only he can change that.

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    1. Yes, it is quite extraordinary, isn’t it? I personally know of several cases where Christian leaders advised someone to divorce.
      There is forgiveness and healing for those who have been divorced, but it doesn’t help the situation to deny one’s culpability.
      Jessica

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  4. I am familiar with two cases of divorce among Christian families. One of them was between former pastor and his wife. He stayed in a different province after the divorce and his wife moved here with their children. They had 3 children. I am familiar with the children and the ex-wife. In fact, she used to be a member of my current church. Today, none of the children are following Gd. The middle one stated that he doesn’t believe in Christianity. The oldest is in a relationship with a person who is openly following paganism and they now have two kids together. Now they are engaged and getting married soon. By the way, the oldest graduated from a Bible College several years ago. A few years ago he and the middle child went to a mission trip in Sudan. They were there for several months to spread the god news.
    The other case is of our former youth pastor. He got married over ten years ago. His then wife began cheating on him during their honeymoon. hey tried to work things out afterwards for over a year. She didn’t repent and changed her ways. Divorce followed. After the divorce, he was part of our church for almost two years, lead the Bible Study, organized outreaches, and church programs. During all that time he was wondering if his ex-wife cheating was partially his fault. I know this because he told our college group. Soon, he came to a conclusion that he was not man enough and that he failed as a Christian. He withdrew from all of his roles. His personality changed. He started behaving aggressively towards females: those in their twenties. He yelled at me a few times.
    One day he stopped going to church altogether. Last time I heard he was an emotional wreck and abusing substances.
    I believe our church would have been better if those men were still there.
    Sorry for the long comment. I thought to give it to you so you can see the severity of the divorce on Christian families.
    Irina

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    1. Such sad stories, Irina! Yes, divorce does have severe consequences. I have seen evidence of divorce’s destruction up close and personal, and that’s why I feel compelled to warn people that it’s not God’s way. Convenient doesn’t always equal right.
      Jessica

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