Dresses- and Skirts-Only Lifestyle is Not for the Faint of Heart

Jeni Denim

(From New Creation Apparel – Isn’t this skirt cute?)

What is the hardest thing about being skirts and dresses only? Well, it isn’t the length or bulk of the material; it isn’t the lady-like drape of the fabric; it isn’t the added coverage of one’s figure and amplification of one’s femininity: it’s the ridicule and the loneliness.

In our culture, Christianity has become greatly indistinguishable from mainstream perversion. Christians are not only okay with the perversion of men and women’s roles, they are also okay with what visually symbolizes that perversion: our dress. This should not be. But, when some people rise up against what should not be, by attempting to get back to what should, there is censure, there is scorn, there is coldness. Who stands with them? They are left by themselves to weather the storm without the warmth or comfort of their sister’s company. Alone.

That is the hardness thing.

 

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35 thoughts on “Dresses- and Skirts-Only Lifestyle is Not for the Faint of Heart

  1. In China after Mao Tse Tung & the communist took control in 1949 soon clothing became “unisex” & Chinese women were wearing the same clothing as men! However in the former Soviet-Union & Russia(1917-92) women & girls wore mostly skirts & dresses well into the eighties & early nineties! Interesting how communism there did not let women & girls just wear anything they wanted but preferred skirts & dresses over women just wearing jeans & slacks! I use to like photos of Russian women & girls wearing their skirts & dresses back several decades ago! Communist North Korea even today prefers girls & women there to wear skirts & dresses, however both men & women there are told how to wear & cut their hair! Men are given 9 hair style cuts & long hair & facial hair/mustaches/beards are illegal there! Women can have long hair as girls, teens & single women til thirty years of age or if they get married, they must cut their hair short or near shoulder length hair & they have 17 styles to choose from but coloring the hair is illegal! Yes communist North Korea tells their citizens how to dress & cut & style their hair! In communist Cuba, they can wear their hair any style men & women, color their hair, wear any clothing but clothes & shoes in Cuba are rationed like one pair of leather shoes once every three years, a new set of underwear once a year e.c.t. !!!!! Cuban folk on Cuba have only a modest clothing & shoe ownership!!!!!!

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    • It’s interesting to note how a society’s ideology is closely related to the outer presentation of one’s self. The psychological effect our dress and hair styles has on us is used to the Communist’s advantage–why are we American Christians so naïve? We think women can dress like men, and that it will not affect our behavior. That’s rather foolish, don’t you think?
      Jessica

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  2. Yup, true. The hardest thing about following the less-followed ways (skirts-only, headcovering, refusing to use birth control) is the isolation and lack of companionship on the road – and yes, the ridicule, especially that which comes from within the church.

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    • Yes, I think that following only one or two of those less-followed ways would be hard enough; but, when you combine all three together, the situation is compounded.

      I often feel very discouraged–and even frustrated and angry–with all the worldly church-goers, and even pastors, that I want to cry. The closeness and support that we should have as fellow believers in living a godly lifestyle is seriously lacking.
      Jessica

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  3. Agree to 100%.However there ARE groups who share our conviction and still observe it. It is a earnest prayer of mine that we (my husband, I and our children) might be guided with wisdom if or when it is time to join such a church. What especially unsettles me is the future of my teenagers. Jesus says : Only a little bit of leaven spoils the whole loaf. My church feels like that for shure.
    I crave for company of likeminded sisters but still we hesitate to leave our church out of fear that our daughters might not come with us. At the moment i would probably tell someone to join a conservative group before the children are teenagers. It will be very difficult then. But I feel after much seeking for Gods will, there is a time when one needs to leave a sinking ship and seek for a purer church instead of trying to hold up the torch. Not much success to expect as we all experience. Blessings to you all, sisters

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    • Oh yes, I feel exactly as you do!
      I wonder: maybe your daughters would like to move to a different church, too. I remember when I was a homeschooled kid, how discouraging it was to go to our mainstream church. All the other teenagers were so worldly, I didn’t have anyone I could relate to, or fellowship with. I felt very alone in a sea of “Christian” people (and it hasn’t changed much now that I’m an adult, has it). Might your daughters not feel the same way? Maybe if you were to leave your church and join another, more conservative one, your daughters would be grateful. Why don’t you ask them what they think?
      Jessica

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      • If we would move they’be ok with changing to another church. Since moving is not an option at the moment, they ask us not to change as they want to stay with their friends. So we wait on a bit longer and hope for the best. But they do NOT wear skirts at the moment. Not because they wouldnt like it but because no one else does so. I dont force them because i was never forced either. But i tell them once in a while why i do it. Out of a desire to honour my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I guess we missed the right time to leave without causing grief for us. Maybe we’ll still do it in s couple years with our second set of kids who is a bit younger. (We have tree teens and tree under ten. Our oldest son is going to another church since this summer as he has friends there. )You see at a certain age its definitely more important what friends do and think than mom and dad😉

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      • Another little thing about my teenage girls wearing dresses: As we went for traveling this summer, i was very touched that they both filled their suitcase with dresses. Once we where away from our environment they quickly went back enjoying breezy skirts. (as they did up until a couple years ago)
        So this makes me hope that once they come past their ‘peer group age’ they will be brave enough to start a heartfelt search for Gods will. I’ll pray for them. Meanwhile i look at the lovely pictures i took this summer. I’d love to share them with you 🙂
        And maybe, just maybe they’ll follow us on our path.
        God is still the same and he can work in the heart of any of our kids as he did in our hearts.

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      • I’d love to see the pictures from your summer vacation! Of course you can email me (if you have trouble emailing me, just let me know).
        And yes, I have the same hope as you, that our daughters will follow us on the path we’ve chosen. We have to keep praying, like you said a few comments ago.
        Jessica

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  4. I’m so sorry you find it difficult to follow this conviction. I have been “skirts only” since I got engaged over 12 years ago and really don’t find it a problem. We live in the UK in a semi rural area and I wear normal “mainstream” clothes but with very strict rules on modesty as do several other members of my close though not locally based family. I really don’t find it a problem and only occasionally does anyone notice.

    Where it is difficult and I can see problems coming is with our daughter who although “skirts only” at home is required to wear shorts for school sports and trousers for some activities. I agree with the approach in terms of modesty but I just don’t in terms of gender. I can also see peer group pressure taking her away from modesty as a teenager.

    My husband is extremely conservative in what he likes for us, which I am happy to accept – and to be honest I think it’s a shame that society no longer exerts similar pressure on women to conform to modest feminine styles.

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    • Yes, peer pressure is hard to resist. It takes a strong person to do so, and children (teenagers included) have often not yet reached a level of maturity which would enable them to stand firm in the face of it. That’s part of why we homeschool. Is that even a possibility in the UK?
      Jessica

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  5. Yes you can homeschool but I don’t think that it would be so very different overall because friends and the media would still be an influence. My view is it’s better to give her the conviction and the will to follow God.

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  6. That’s good. Yet, if you think of the world’s influence versus the Bible’s influence, which is pulling stronger? Which is taking up most of one’s time? And, we need to be wise in choosing our friends (or choosing them for our children), and not letting the media become an influence. So, my children are not allowed to have friends that I don’t approve of, and they aren’t allowed to watch TV, movies, internet, etc. unless it’s approved. It’s a holistic lifestyle.

    We shouldn’t just be teaching godliness to our children some of the time, while letting the world do its work the rest of the time. We need to be pro-active in approach, and beat the world at its own game, so to speak. We need to win our children’s hearts before IT does.

    Besides, who does God say should be teaching our children their values? The government? The schools? The media? The church? No, not even the church, but the parents (see Deut. 6:4-9, for example). WE have the responsibility to impart His ways to them, and sending them off to be taught and influenced by others undermines that work, don’t you think?
    Jessica

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  7. Jessica,
    #1 I love the look of that skirt! It’s stitching complements the waist and hips and flows nicely down to the ankle. It’s one I would get in a heart beat if it’s affordable 🙂
    #2 I agree that it’s a lonely road that can be made even lonlier by the attitudes of others. The people that care will see beyond what clothing we wear to the inner woman. Right now where I worship, women are dressing in whatever they want on Sundays. Just a few short years ago, women wouldn’t think about going to church functions in pants. So, where does the problem lie? Is it more women in the work force? Is it a matter of pride/rebellion?( I can wear what I want, where I want) Is it tired mamas that struggle getting their families to church let alone getting dressed all special? Is it women (young and old) trying to attract male attention in skinny jeans and yoga pants? Is it older women fighting the aging process? Perhaps all these are true.
    I believe the Lord lays modesty/headcovering on the hearts of certain men and women who will be willing to teach it to the next generation through Scripture, verbally or by their example of a quiet meek spirit. It’s a narrow road and by that very fact, it will be trodden by just a few. That’s why it’s so vital to lift each other up and our husbands, sons & daughters in prayer.
    Hope this was encouraging and not too preachy 🙂 -Ruthie

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    • Not at all preachy, Ruthie! Thank you for the encouragement!

      There is some validity in all the reasons you mentioned, I think.
      For me, the main problem is the discouragement. So yes, like you said, “it’s so vital to lift each other up and our husbands, sons & daughters in prayer.”

      However, why would the Spirit of God lay modesty (something that is clearly taught in His word) upon the hearts of just a few? Aren’t we all, as believers, partakers of the Holy Ghost? What’s the matter with everybody, then? I guess I struggle with amazement and even anger that so many “Christians” are so worldly, and either outright rebellious toward the Word of God, or at the very least, ignorant of what it teaches. And who’s to blame for that? Well, certainly each person has an individual responsibility to read the Word of God for himself/herself; but–why aren’t more preachers teaching on this? It just gets me so frustrated!

      And then, when I get hints from people that SHOULD care about me, that I’m going overboard and being unfair to my daughters by making them wear skirts, I do feel like they’re not seeing ME at all; they’re not seeing how I’m trying to be obedient to God, and respecting me for that. Instead, they’re treating me like a weirdo, and that hurts. Do I try to see OTHERS for their inner woman? You bet! I try to be merciful toward them with my thoughts; so, I make up excuses for them kind of like you did (but I’m not saying you were wrong to do so 🙂 ). But, at the end of the day, I still can’t understand why Christian women are still showing off their behinds and crotches and cleavage for all the world to see. It’s just unbelievable. There should be some change, right?
      Jessica

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      • I guess I’m feeling a little sheepish after reading your reply, Jessica. You’re right. Modesty, headcovering, giving God control of all aspects of our lives should be our desire and #1 focus of our lives, not just this wishy washy feeling of ‘maybe the Lord will lay it on the hearts of a few faithful followers’. Those examples that I used were actual people and situations that I’ve come across, and the young mom just trying to get her crew to church was me back in the day 🙂 It was more difficult for me to give up my will in dressing modestly than it was in headcovering. That’s because I was taught that headcovering was Scriptural, but how you dressed was a matter of Christian liberty. Those who wore dresses all the time were being legalistic. So, there’s flawed teaching there and if modesty is not being taught or if mom and dad don’t have strong convictions in this area, kids and adults are going to dress like the world because that’s the path of least resistance.
        I’m honestly so sorry that you and your daughters have been made to feel weird especially coming from another Christian. It is so very hurtful. You are being true to the Bible and your convictions. Don’t lose hope. I can sympathize in a small way because as I’ve said, my friends and family think I’m being legalistic since I began wearing dresses/skirts. I do care, but in a way, I don’t because it was such inner turmoil for me. Circumstances in our lives caused me to make this change, and I truly believe it’s what God wants from me.
        I heard a message that spoke to me about the armor of Eph. 6. The 1st piece is the belt of truth. The truth is the Word of God, so as the very 1st piece, we need to base everything on what God’s word says. It’s our absolute. Without standing on it, we will fall for anything that comes our way. The breastplate of righteousness covers us just as the shed blood of Jesus covers all our sin. The weight of the breastplate didn’t rest on the soldier’s shoulders, but on the waist. What’s girded about the waist but the belt of truth. Where do we find out about Jesus and His shed blood? In God’s word. The shield of faith is our strongest defense. The shield was not only for the individual, but also for the group of soldiers as well. They formed a wall of shields to ward off arrows from the front and the top. So it is with our families and our churches. We all need to be in the Word strengthening our faith, or Satan will send those fiery darts and they’ll hit his mark, which is what we’ve been seeing today in our families and churches. The sword of the Spirit is an offensive and defensive weapon. It can block and parry, but it’s also sharp and dividing. Jesus used Scripture as a defense against Satan’s time of tempting Him. We need to use the truth as a block but also as a sharp instrument to cut away false teaching. Then our feet need to be shod with the preparation of the Gospel. Again, the truth. Our heads are to be protected with the helmet of salvation. Where do we find out about salvation? Again, the truth of Scripture.
        I had never heard this passage presented this way. It was mind blowing for me! We need to base everything in our lives on the TRUTH of God’s Word. Establish the truth of Scripture in our lives, and the lives of our children is absolutely a key ingredient. Each piece of armor dovetails and supports the next. Really quite amazing 🙂 Be encouraged, Jessica. You are doing what God wants 🙂 Your friend, Ruthie

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      • Thanks so much, Ruthie!
        I loved the explanation you shared about the spiritual armor; yes, it is amazing how each piece overlaps and supports all the other parts!

        But, as you point out, TRUTH is the main ingredient which helps to fix everything in its place. We couldn’t even come to salvation if it wasn’t for accepting the truth about ourselves and about what Jesus did for us. The Christian life should be a continual extension of that moment–a never-ending trek following right in the footsteps of our Savior.

        However, we can’t walk in His path if we aren’t obeying Him. We can’t go two directions at once. Some people want to have both the world and Jesus at the same time, but it doesn’t work that way. Maybe they will be saved, but they will miss out on all that God had intended for them, and in how many ways will that affect the lives of OTHERS, as well?

        Thanks for sharing!
        Jessica

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    • I see all that as a reason. Maybe you could ad the desire to be cool in the eyes of your fellow female church friends. It’s often not men a woman wants to attract its more the craving for acceptance with her friends.

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  8. There is a sort of feminist world view that women should not be ‘forced’ by men, their husbands or the Church into dressing modestly or wearing distinct feminine clothes which are then labelled as ‘restrictive’. All of which goes directly against Biblical authority.

    We are called to cover ourselves and dress modestly – by God, we are called to obey our parents and husbands – by God and we are called to honour him by following his design for us a. Women by being distinct from men, feminine and chaste. If in doing so our lives are in anyway ‘restricted’ (which I doubt) that is because we should be held to our role and God’s purpose.

    My husband has never permitted me to dress immodestly or to wear trousers and he is right both to exercise his authority and to set those standards.

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  9. The Bible says that “straight is the gate, and narrow is the way” that leads to life and few there be that find it. For me, anything other than modest dresses (or skirts) is not acceptable. Other than a few times as pjs when night gowns are dirty all the girls in the house wear dresses. We would not put our girls in a place where they would be required to do anything else. I have them wear leggings under their dresses and they climb, ride bikes, run around, and have lots of fun just like their brothers.

    I think for many the issues that Jessica mentioned: modest dress, head covering, and surrender of childbearing to God requires a surrender of self that most women are not able to give. Our society has so perverted the role and purpose of women that many don’t recognize the responsibility and privilege of being the women God has called them to be. They don’t realize that it is because women have left the home that society is in the mess it is in today. Children are not being taught my mother, but instead by tv, baby sitters, and public schools. Daughters are not learning how to care for families. Additionally, these things God has given us for our salvation. It is in humbling ourselves, and the training of children that we are able to develop the characters Christ wants us to have. It’s so sad that many don’t seem to want that. And yes, it’s a lonely road. But I’m thankful for technology that allows some of us sisters to come into contact with each other for support and encouragement. I think other mothers have been lonely throughout history too. Think of Hannah, Elizabeth, Mary, Lois and Eunice. Think of the corrupt times they lived in and how few were doing what was right at the time. Think of how the whole universe is looking on and cheering on those who are making right decisions. We in actuality have far more on our side than at first meets the eye. Be encouraged. Be faithful! 😀–Celina

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    • Thanks so much for that, Celina! I loved everything you said. I also feel, as you do, that “if you can’t do it and be modest and ladylike at the same time, then don’t do it.”

      I do believe that modest skirts and dresses are the mode of dress we ladies and our daughters need to be wearing, (almost) without exception. The only reason why I make an allowance for those who believe loose, modest pants for women is okay, is because the Bible doesn’t make it clear which style of clothes to wear; it just says to be modest. So I guess I’m trying to extend grace. However, pants–even feminine styles–are not very distinguishable from men’s styles, and they don’t do a very good job of covering the crotch, bottom, and thigh areas. So, I do feel strongly that skirts and dresses are superior.

      I have yet to look into the Greek meanings of words, such as that used for “apparel,” in the phrase, “women should dress in modest APPAREL,” that I’ve seen other women point to in their defense of dresses. If that’s something you’ve already studied, would you mind letting me know what you found? I’d love to know more!

      And yes, I also believe that we are where we are today because women left their homes in search of “personal fulfillment” in a career. But, that’s what the Bible says happens. Women leave the “natural use” and men follow closely behind.

      Thanks!
      Jessica

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      • As I’ve said I originally switched to skirts only in obedience to my (then future) husband. At the time I didn’t feel is was a religious issue I thought that as long as we dressed modestly that was okay.

        However as my views have become more conservative, as I became a mother and as I have prayed and read on this more I have come to the conclusion that as Christian women how we dress is very important and the principals of modesty and femininity do in our culture mean (as has been the case for centuries) skirts and dresses.

        However loose or flowery a pair of trousers they are ultimately men’s clothing. They draw attention to the bottom and crotch and they encourage (which is why feminists like them) a masculine form of movement, posture and behaviour.

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      • Yes, I agree wholeheartedly!

        And I almost forgot: the Bible does say that a woman should not put on that which pertains to a man, neither a man put on a woman’s apparel. So, it IS clear that we shouldn’t be dressing in styles that are associated with the opposite gender. I mean, most men wouldn’t wear dresses, would they?

        The other day, I watched a young lady describe why she wears dresses and skirts only, and she mentioned that it opened a way for her to talk to others about Christ, and also helped her stand out as different (but in a good way).

        She said that she often gets questions about her skirts, since people notice that she doesn’t just wear them occasionally, but all the time. This, she says, is the perfect chance to tell them about her faith. However, she doesn’t think that the same thing would happen if she wore modest pants, or if she wore pants with a long shirt or short dress over them–she wouldn’t be nearly as distinguishable from the rest of the folks; there wouldn’t be anything visually particular about her that would lead people to ask questions. I thought that was interesting, and could also form a reason why we wear skirts and dresses only.
        Jessica

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  10. I’m like you all, I’m often irritated by looking around. And i ask my self, why would a Christian woman walk around like that, or why would she cut her hair short and still profess to have the bible as guideline for her life.
    Honestly, going to church is often more discouraging than going into town for doing my errands!
    Just a couple days ago i had a talk with a old lady i trust(ed) greatly.
    She she advised me strongly to have that very deep, deep conection to Jesus and have that as a priority wich i agree but when our conversation turned to actually applying the whole word and taking it literal she too came up with the familiar tune of ‘God allows different applications….da,da,da.
    I really gave it a lot of thought as i did many times before but in the end of the day, there remains that doubtfull feeling and then the assurance:
    I need to obey God in all his word. I cant just go out there and cut my hair short (for instance) and tell myself and others that this is just fine and ok.
    Because, where would be the line?
    Where women start to preach?
    Where homosexuals start to life together openly?
    Where i have the right to kill my unborn child?
    NO!! i’d rather go the safe way and take the bible literal.
    -Still Need to pray for wisdom and grace in every day life 🙂
    AND,doesnt just this help me to walk closely with my saviour?
    So greatfull for this blog! Blessings and encouragement to y’all.

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  11. It is a fact, sadly, that simply by wearing a skirt all the time we do in some instances invite comment and to turn that into an explanation of faith and conviction is making a virtue out of the situation.

    One of your contributors has an historic exploration of dress and what is notable is the fact that throughout recorded history virtuous women have covered and been called to cover themselves modestly which has always included wearing skirts / dresses which cover the whole lower body.

    Not to be too base about it our private area is between our legs and the act of procreation involves parting our legs to access that area. So it makes sense that modesty takes that out of the visual equation.

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  12. Jessica,

    I do believe we must extend grace to those around us. I wore pants and shorts at one time in my life as well. I usually never say anything to a woman about how she dresses. I have noticed a few follow their own conviction to wear dresses and skirts full time after being associated together. If anyone asks, I am always willing to share my understanding. It’s fun to see the Holy Spirit work on people’s lives!

    I have not specifically studied the word “apparel” but my understanding is similar to yours that women’s clothing should be modest dresses and skirts and that pants are for men. 😀–Celina

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  13. Psalm 55:22New King James Version (NKJV)

    22 Cast your burden on the Lord,
    And He shall sustain you;
    He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.

    1 Peter 5:5-11
    5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for

    “God resists the proud,
    But gives grace to the humble.”[b]
    6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

    8 Be sober, be vigilant; because[c] your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 10 But may[d] the God of all grace, who called us[e] to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

    Numbers 6:22-27
    22 And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: 23 “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, ‘This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel. Say to them:

    24 “The Lord bless you and keep you;
    25 The Lord make His face shine upon you,
    And be gracious to you;
    26 The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
    And give you peace.”’
    27 “So they shall put My name on the children of Israel, and I will bless them.”

    I’m praying for you sister! Cast your cares on the Lord, and don’t be discouraged, He loves you and He is with you! These scriptures will encourage you 🙂

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