Am I anti-birth control? Yes! How did I get this way? Did I grow up being taught from an early age that birth control is a sin? No. Do I go to a church that holds to this idea? No. Are all my friends against birth control, too? No. In my sphere of face-to-face acquaintances, I’m the only one who is “weird” enough to think this way; though I am familiar with several families who have the same mindset, through the internet. How I came to be anti-birth control will be addressed in future articles. Today’s focus is, how have contraceptives had an impact on society? I won’t be citing any scientific studies; what I will be doing is using a common-sense approach to this topic, appealing to the faculties of reason and logic for the answer. Additionally, we’ll see some of what the Bible has to say about this topic (though there is not enough space here to address everything in the Bible regarding this issue — that would be way too much to include in this short post!).
What does birth control have to do with: Pornography? Abortion? Orphans? Are we treating only the surface symptoms of these diseases, without ever actually getting to the root cause? How could a more realistic view regarding contraceptive use affect our efficiency in dealing with these major societal ills?
God created marriage to be between one man and one woman, for life. That relationship was designed by God to bear fruit: children. Having children is one of the main purposes of marriage!
“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Do you think the command to “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it” was meant only for Adam and Eve? That’s what most people seem to think. “The earth’s already full, so this doesn’t apply to us.” Did God say that? Did He give us a timeframe, or a limit? Did He say, “Be fruitful and multiply up until this point that I will show you, and then stop, because then the earth will be full”?
Let me ask you this: What about homosexuality? Is it okay for a man to have sex with a man, or a woman to have sex with a woman? If you’re a conservative Evangelical Christian, your answer will probably be “No.” How do you prove that? By going back to the beginning, by looking at how God created the world, right? Because the way He designed us from the beginning, back when everything was “very good” (Gen. 1:31) was the way He always intended it to be. Furthermore, the New Testament confirms that everything laid down at the beginning was meant to serve as a rule for us, too.
Look at what Jesus thinks about the principles established by God in the garden of Eden; did He think they apply to us today?
“The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’ And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh“? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’ They said to Him, ‘Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?’ He said to them, ‘Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.'”
Do you see how Jesus goes way, way back to “the beginning” to prove His point? The way God designed things “from the beginning,” was clearly meant to be a standard for all proceeding generations! So, according to “the beginning,” is homosexuality okay? Let’s see: One man (Adam) and one woman (Eve). No room for homosexuality there. Is polygamy okay? Let’s see: One man (Adam) and one woman (Eve). Having multiple wives (or husbands) is not permitted. So, by the same rule (what God established in “the beginning”), we are still commanded by God to “Be fruitful and multiply.”
There are other New Testament texts that refer back to the account of the creation order to make a point applicable to us today. Some examples? First Corinthians 11:1-16 (the headcovering passage) and Ephesians 5:22-33 (another wives and husbands passage), among many others!
Now, here’s my point. Why do we go around picking and choosing which things we want to obey, and which things we don’t want to obey? Why not just say, “God said it, I’m gonna do it”? It would certainly save us from a lot of unneeded heartache and disaster! The pornography issue is closely related to our view of marriage. Let’s see how.
Porn takes the sex act and turns it into a game. “How much pleasure can I get from this? How can you make me satisfied?” There’s never an end, though. We always wind up needing more and more in order to maintain the same high. More and more pictures of other naked people having sex. More and more private parts, bigger and bigger, and for longer and longer periods of time, etc… I don’t want to get gross, here; you get the picture. What wife (or husband) can live up to that? Porn doesn’t make your sex life good; it turns it into a game you’ll never be able to win. You will feel heavily burdened to fulfill expectations you can’t possibly fulfill; you will feel desperately lonely, deeply pained, unwanted and unloved.
Sex isn’t just about pleasure; when we turn it into that, we only cheat ourselves. Sex is mainly about procreation. Yes, P-R-O-C-R-E-A-T-I-O-N. God made sex so that we would have children. He made it pleasurable so that we would have sex, so that we would have children. Of course, He also provided sex as a way to become “one flesh” through the bonding that occurs during physical intimacy. What else does the phrase “one flesh” bring to mind? Isn’t a child really the “one flesh” of his/her parents combined? The DNA is half from the father and half from the mother, and recombined to create a unique individual, right?
Now, our focus on pleasure does not allow for the entrance of a baby; that would just mess things up! So, we use birth control, so we can continue to experience pleasure without the added responsibility of a new baby. We use each other’s bodies. We objectify each other. Our pornographic culture is just a symptom of how we view sex: all pleasure, no procreation; all fun, no work. Birth control facilitates sex for fun, and makes it easier to view women (or men, or children) as toys.
This topic is full of bitterness for many. Abortion is the dark, crimson stain upon our modern society. More than that, it is an evil emanating from hell itself. Abortion kills tiny babies who are still developing in the womb, who are innocent of all wrong, and had nothing to do with the way in which they were conceived. Just because they’re tiny, doesn’t make them less human. Is an armless man less human than the rest of us because he’s missing his arms? Is a mentally disabled child less human than the rest of us because her brain doesn’t function the way our’s do? Is a two-year-old less human for being smaller and less developed than a 14-year-old? I could go on and on. My point is, think about what makes us human. If it isn’t our stage of development, what is it?
The answer is in Genesis, again.
“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”
We are human because we are created in God’s image. It has little to do with our physical development, and has everything to do with our spirit. God is Spirit (John 4:24). We are human because we have a spirit, like God, Who doesn’t just have a spirit, but Who is Spirit. We reflect His nature. That’s one of the reasons why it is such a crime to kill unborn babies, because we are killing God’s image; we are murdering God in effigy.
Think about this: when we use birth control, we’re taking abortion one step further. We aren’t just killing babies once they’ve been conceived, we’re preventing them from ever being conceived in the first place! A lot less work on our part. Most Christians see abortion as the ultimate evil; but what about all those Christians who use contraceptives? They don’t even want the children that could be conceived from their own marriages! Hypocrites!
“For you formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb,
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.”
God is the One Who made each and every one of us. Notice that the psalmist refers to that developing fetus as “I”: “When I was made in secret.” He doesn’t think of himself as a mere blob of tissue; that little baby was himself, in a younger form!
Now, if God supervises the formation of babies already conceived, taking it a step further back, does He not also supervise the conception of those same babies? “And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.” Who of us mere mortals can really think herself wise enough for the incredible responsibility of deciding when the right time is to conceive a baby? Only God know the future! Only God knows the life that baby will lead, because each day that child will live has already been written in God’s book! Do you or I have one of those books? Can we just open it up, and say, “Looks like now’s not the time for you to be conceived yet; just wait another year, then it will be time.”
We are arrogant and full of pride; we think we are like little gods who can go around deciding who should be born, and when. We see contraception as the first defense in keeping those little babies from coming into existence; then, if our first attempt doesn’t succeed, we pull out the big guns, and just murder them! Cold-blooded hypocrites! Abortion is just contraception taken to its logical conclusion.
After we’ve spent so long viewing sex as a game meant for our personal pleasure, and we’ve used contraception to rid ourselves of the responsibility of having to care for what would be the natural result of sex, is it any wonder that we are hardhearted towards those children that are already born?
I’ve heard the statistics about millions of orphans and abandoned children; children living on the streets barely surviving. What’s the root cause of this? Well, mainly it’s that WE DON’T LIKE CHILDREN! We don’t want them in our marriages (two, maybe three, then we’ll stop), we don’t want them plugging up our society (have you heard that the world is “overpopulated”?), and we especially don’t want them messing up our personal agendas. We are selfish and short-sighted, mostly living for ourselves, and not willing to make sacrifices for anyone else, not even for a tiny little baby or a toddling two-year-old. This attitude rolls over in to every other area of life where children are involved.
What does a mom do when her children are all grown up? After using birth control for twenty years, and having only three children, she of course celebrates that her three are now grown and out of the house; she can have it to herself now! No more diapers, no more messes, no more sleep-interrupted nights. No, she’s free! Do you think this woman is going to want to ruin her new-found freedom by fostering or adopting needy children? Very unlikely, after all those years hardening her heart toward her own offspring, whether already born, or yet to be conceived. Our many orphans were first unwanted in the hearts of their parents, before they were unwanted by the rest of the world (though I realize that’s not always the case). If we want to solve this very serious problem, we need to start with us: how do we view children? Do we want them? We need to show it first in our own lives, by letting go of all contraception, and leaving conception in the hands of God alone.
God knows best. He always has, and He always will. Contraception use is us taking something into our own hands that we have no business messing with. Only God knows when the proper time is for new human beings to come into existence, because only He knows the future. Do we honestly think we can outwit God? Our use of birth control is based on one thing: FEAR.
We are afraid. Afraid of whether we’re going to have enough money; whether we’re going to have a big enough house; whether we’re going to have a big enough car; whether we’re going to have enough to pay for our children’s education; whether we’re going to be healthy throughout the pregnancy; whether we’re going to have a good birth; whether we’re going to have a child who doesn’t have disabilities; whether we’re going to have enough time to spend with our other children; whether we’re going to have enough energy to bond with our spouse. The list goes on and on. Are these valid concerns? Yes, they are, to a certain extent. But, if we believe in God, we know that He will provide. We like to talk about it in church all the time, “God will provide. Trust God to take care of you. Just obey Him, and He’ll take care of the rest.” But how are we actually living this out in our lives? Do our lives show that what we pronounce with our lips is just a lie, and that we really don’t trust Him when it comes down to it?
I’ve given you a lot to think about. And there’s so much more that could be said, but not all at once. Please read the Bible with an open heart and mind. What has God really said? Is it possible that our culture has blinded your eyes to the truth? Are you being duped by the prince of the power of the air (Satan)? Think about the root cause of why you do what you do, don’t just look at the surface. Then, think things through to their logical conclusion; where will this mentality eventually take you? Will it be anywhere good? Will it be where you intended to go, or someplace far away?
Please know, that if you have had an abortion, there is forgiveness with God! There is no sin too ugly for Him to forgive. Jesus took the sins of all mankind upon His sinless shoulders, and took the penalty of our crimes upon Himself. If you believe that, and ask God to forgive your sins, He will freely give you His forgiveness, and a brand new start! Please get help from your local church, and local Community Pregnancy Center, which will connect you with the support you need to heal from what’s happened to you in the past. Perhaps in your case, the abortion was not even *entirely* your fault; some girls are pressured into it by their parents, or by their boyfriends. There is healing, and there is help!
If you have used birth control that has the potential to cause early, undetected abortions (the birth control pill, the IUD, the patch, the ring, the shot, the under-the-skin-surface rods, and other hormonal methods), there is forgiveness for you, too. Please, don’t continue to use those methods! If your husband insists, the best thing for you to do is refuse! Being an accomplice to murder is not okay! Educate yourself about the way these “contraceptives” work (which is a misleading term, because they don’t always prevent conception). Be honest with yourself, then do the right thing.