The Blessing of Children

Contraceptives and Their Impact on Society

Am I anti-birth control? Yes! How did I get this way? Did I grow up being taught from an early age that birth control is a sin? No. Do I go to a church that holds to this idea? No. Are all my friends against birth control, too? No. In my sphere of face-to-face acquaintances, I’m the only one who is “weird” enough to think this way; though I am familiar with several families who have the same mindset, through the internet. How I came to be anti-birth control will be addressed in future articles. Today’s focus is, how have contraceptives had an impact on society? I won’t be citing any scientific studies; what I will be doing is using a common-sense approach to this topic, appealing to the faculties of reason and logic for the answer. Additionally, we’ll see some of what the Bible has to say about this topic (though there is not enough space here to address everything in the Bible regarding this issue — that would be way too much to include in this short post!).

What does birth control have to do with: Pornography? Abortion? Orphans? Are we treating only the surface symptoms of these diseases, without ever actually getting to the root cause? How could a more realistic view regarding contraceptive use affect our efficiency in dealing with these major societal ills?

Pornography

God created marriage to be between one man and one woman, for life. That relationship was designed by God to bear fruit: children. Having children is one of the main purposes of marriage!

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Genesis 1:27-28 

Do you think the command to “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it” was meant only for Adam and Eve? That’s what most people seem to think. “The earth’s already full, so this doesn’t apply to us.” Did God say that? Did He give us a timeframe, or a limit? Did He say, “Be fruitful and multiply up until this point that I will show you, and then stop, because then the earth will be full”?

Let me ask you this: What about homosexuality? Is it okay for a man to have sex with a man, or a woman to have sex with a woman? If you’re a conservative Evangelical Christian, your answer will probably be “No.” How do you prove that? By going back to the beginning, by looking at how God created the world, right? Because the way He designed us from the beginning, back when everything was “very good” (Gen. 1:31) was the way He always intended it to be. Furthermore, the New Testament confirms that everything laid down at the beginning was meant to serve as a rule for us, too.

Look at what Jesus thinks about the principles established by God in the garden of Eden; did He think they apply to us today?

“The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’ And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginningmade them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh“? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’ They said to Him, ‘Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?’ He said to them, ‘Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.'”

Matthew 19:3-8 

Do you see how Jesus goes way, way back to “the beginning” to prove His point? The way God designed things “from the beginning,” was clearly meant to be a standard for all proceeding generations! So, according to “the beginning,” is homosexuality okay? Let’s see: One man (Adam) and one woman (Eve). No room for homosexuality there. Is polygamy okay? Let’s see: One man (Adam) and one woman (Eve). Having multiple wives (or husbands) is not permitted. So, by the same rule (what God established in “the beginning”), we are still commanded by God to “Be fruitful and multiply.”

There are other New Testament texts that refer back to the account of the creation order to make a point applicable to us today. Some examples? First Corinthians 11:1-16 (the headcovering passage) and Ephesians 5:22-33 (another wives and husbands passage), among many others!

Now, here’s my point. Why do we go around picking and choosing which things we want to obey, and which things we don’t want to obey? Why not just say, “God said it, I’m gonna do it”? It would certainly save us from a lot of unneeded heartache and disaster! The pornography issue is closely related to our view of marriage. Let’s see how.

Porn takes the sex act and turns it into a game. “How much pleasure can I get from this? How can you make me satisfied?” There’s never an end, though. We always wind up needing more and more in order to maintain the same high. More and more pictures of other naked people having sex. More and more private parts, bigger and bigger, and for longer and longer periods of time, etc… I don’t want to get gross, here; you get the picture. What wife (or husband) can live up to that? Porn doesn’t make your sex life good; it turns it into a game you’ll never be able to win. You will feel heavily burdened to fulfill expectations you can’t possibly fulfill; you will feel desperately lonely, deeply pained, unwanted and unloved.

Sex isn’t just about pleasure; when we turn it into that, we only cheat ourselves. Sex is mainly about procreation. Yes, P-R-O-C-R-E-A-T-I-O-N. God made sex so that we would have children. He made it pleasurable so that we would have sex, so that we would have children. Of course, He also provided sex as a way to become “one flesh” through the bonding that occurs during physical intimacy. What else does the phrase “one flesh” bring to mind? Isn’t a child really the “one flesh” of his/her parents combined? The DNA is half from the father and half from the mother, and recombined to create a unique individual, right?

Now, our focus on pleasure does not allow for the entrance of a baby; that would just mess things up! So, we use birth control, so we can continue to experience pleasure without the added responsibility of a new baby. We use each other’s bodies. We objectify each other. Our pornographic culture is just a symptom of how we view sex: all pleasure, no procreation; all fun, no work. Birth control facilitates sex for fun, and makes it easier to view women (or men, or children) as toys.

Abortion

This topic is full of bitterness for many. Abortion is the dark, crimson stain upon our modern society. More than that, it is an evil emanating from hell itself. Abortion kills tiny babies who are still developing in the womb, who are innocent of all wrong, and had nothing to do with the way in which they were conceived. Just because they’re tiny, doesn’t make them less human. Is an armless man less human than the rest of us because he’s missing his arms? Is a mentally disabled child less human than the rest of us because her brain doesn’t function the way our’s do? Is a two-year-old less human for being smaller and less developed than a 14-year-old? I could go on and on. My point is, think about what makes us human. If it isn’t our stage of development, what is it?

The answer is in Genesis, again.

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Genesis 1:27 

We are human because we are created in God’s image. It has little to do with our physical development, and has everything to do with our spirit. God is Spirit (John 4:24). We are human because we have a spirit, like God, Who doesn’t just have a spirit, but Who is Spirit. We reflect His nature. That’s one of the reasons why it is such a crime to kill unborn babies, because we are killing God’s image; we are murdering God in effigy.

Think about this: when we use birth control, we’re taking abortion one step further. We aren’t just killing babies once they’ve been conceived, we’re preventing them from ever being conceived in the first place! A lot less work on our part. Most Christians see abortion as the ultimate evil; but what about all those Christians who use contraceptives? They don’t even want the children that could be conceived from their own marriages! Hypocrites!

“For you formed my inward parts;

You covered me in my mother’s womb,

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully

made;

Marvelous are Your works,

And that my soul knows very well.

My frame was not hidden from You,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.

And in Your book they all were written,

The days fashioned for me,

When as yet there were none of them.”

Psalm 139:13-16 

God is the One Who made each and every one of us. Notice that the psalmist refers to that developing fetus as “I”: “When I was made in secret.” He doesn’t think of himself as a mere blob of tissue; that little baby was himself, in a younger form!

Now, if God supervises the formation of babies already conceived, taking it a step further back, does He not also supervise the conception of those same babies? “And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.” Who of us mere mortals can really think herself wise enough for the incredible responsibility of deciding when the right time is to conceive a baby? Only God know the future! Only God knows the life that baby will lead, because each day that child will live has already been written in God’s book! Do you or I have one of those books? Can we just open it up, and say, “Looks like now’s not the time for you to be conceived yet; just wait another year, then it will be time.”

We are arrogant and full of pride; we think we are like little gods who can go around deciding who should be born, and when. We see contraception as the first defense in keeping those little babies from coming into existence; then, if our first attempt doesn’t succeed, we pull out the big guns, and just murder them! Cold-blooded hypocrites! Abortion is just contraception taken to its logical conclusion.

Orphans

After we’ve spent so long viewing sex as a game meant for our personal pleasure, and we’ve used contraception to rid ourselves of the responsibility of having to care for what would be the natural result of sex, is it any wonder that we are hardhearted towards those children that are already born?

I’ve heard the statistics about millions of orphans and abandoned children; children living on the streets barely surviving. What’s the root cause of this? Well, mainly it’s that WE DON’T LIKE CHILDREN! We don’t want them in our marriages (two, maybe three, then we’ll stop), we don’t want them plugging up our society (have you heard that the world is “overpopulated”?), and we especially don’t want them messing up our personal agendas. We are selfish and short-sighted, mostly living for ourselves, and not willing to make sacrifices for anyone else, not even for a tiny little baby or a toddling two-year-old. This attitude rolls over in to every other area of life where children are involved.

What does a mom do when her children are all grown up? After using birth control for twenty years, and having only three children, she of course celebrates that her three are now grown and out of the house; she can have it to herself now! No more diapers, no more messes, no more sleep-interrupted nights. No, she’s free! Do you think this woman is going to want to ruin her new-found freedom by fostering or adopting needy children? Very unlikely, after all those years hardening her heart toward her own offspring, whether already born, or yet to be conceived. Our many orphans were first unwanted in the hearts of their parents, before they were unwanted by the rest of the world (though I realize that’s not always the case). If we want to solve this very serious problem, we need to start with us: how do we view children? Do we want them? We need to show it first in our own lives, by letting go of all contraception, and leaving conception in the hands of God alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God knows best. He always has, and He always will. Contraception use is us taking something into our own hands that we have no business messing with. Only God knows when the proper time is for new human beings to come into existence, because only He knows the future. Do we honestly think we can outwit God? Our use of birth control is based on one thing: FEAR.

We are afraid. Afraid of whether we’re going to have enough money; whether we’re going to have a big enough house; whether we’re going to have a big enough car; whether we’re going to have enough to pay for our children’s education; whether we’re going to be healthy throughout the pregnancy; whether we’re going to have a good birth; whether we’re going to have a child who doesn’t have disabilities; whether we’re going to have enough time to spend with our other children; whether we’re going to have enough energy to bond with our spouse. The list goes on and on. Are these valid concerns? Yes, they are, to a certain extent. But, if we believe in God, we know that He will provide. We like to talk about it in church all the time, “God will provide. Trust God to take care of you. Just obey Him, and He’ll take care of the rest.” But how are we actually living this out in our lives? Do our lives show that what we pronounce with our lips is just a lie, and that we really don’t trust Him when it comes down to it?

I’ve given you a lot to think about. And there’s so much more that could be said, but not all at once. Please read the Bible with an open heart and mind. What has God really said? Is it possible that our culture has blinded your eyes to the truth? Are you being duped by the prince of the power of the air (Satan)? Think about the root cause of why you do what you do, don’t just look at the surface. Then, think things through to their logical conclusion; where will this mentality eventually take you? Will it be anywhere good? Will it be where you intended to go, or someplace far away?


Please know, that if you have had an abortion, there is forgiveness with God! There is no sin too ugly for Him to forgive. Jesus took the sins of all mankind upon His sinless shoulders, and took the penalty of our crimes upon Himself. If you believe that, and ask God to forgive your sins, He will freely give you His forgiveness, and a brand new start! Please get help from your local church, and local Community Pregnancy Center, which will connect you with the support you need to heal from what’s happened to you in the past. Perhaps in your case, the abortion was not even *entirely* your fault; some girls are pressured into it by their parents, or by their boyfriends. There is healing, and there is help! 

If you have used birth control that has the potential to cause early, undetected abortions (the birth control pill, the IUD, the patch, the ring, the shot, the under-the-skin-surface rods, and other hormonal methods), there is forgiveness for you, too. Please, don’t continue to use those methods! If your husband insists, the best thing for you to do is refuse! Being an accomplice to murder is not okay! Educate yourself about the way these “contraceptives” work (which is a misleading term, because they don’t always prevent conception). Be honest with yourself, then do the right thing. 

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30 thoughts on “Contraceptives and Their Impact on Society

  1. Wow. I really cannot say enough how much I love this post. SO many good posts.

    You’ve seen “The Birth Control Movie,” right? One point I always return to is the statement that the legalization of birth control in any country will always, ALWAYS, lead to the explosion of three other phenomena – abortion, pornography, and homosexuality. Why? Because that’s what happens when you separate the procreative and the unitive. When intimacy becomes “my pleasure” instead of “pleasure in the process of being open to the gift of children,” all evil with regard to pregnancy and children multiplies. Because if children are disposable and/or optional, then all morality goes to the wall. And, as some have so eloquently said, when we sterilize the marital act, we have in essence approved of homosexual acts (i.e. sex as unitive-only, rather than procreative). It’s only a matter of time before society realizes that and acts upon it – as ours has.

    Great post!

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    1. Your comments, Diana, are like mini posts in themselves! I love how you so eloquently vocalize some of the things that I have trouble putting into words. I’m impressed, and a little envious, too! Ha, ha 🙂
      I agree with you completely!
      Jessica

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    2. I couldn’t agree more. I find it frustrating how even the Catholic Church effectively turns a blind eye to contraception and other Christian’s seem to regard it as morality neutral. When for all of Christian history up until the last 70 or so years it has been seen for the past of sin that it is and rightly condemned by the Church and forbidden by law.

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  2. Too bad that you write your articles in English not in German. it would be nice to share them with others around me.
    i feel greatly challenged with your articles. But challenged in a good way. i too try to take the bible literally and am on the journey of doing so more and more. Your zeal is really encouraging to me in that process.
    Just wondering:How do you cope in a church setting where you pretty alone in your journey? Why don’t you attend a p.e. anababtist or conservative evangelical church where you would have more like minded teaching?

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    1. Thank you, Ruth!
      To answer your question: I cope by focusing on the things we have in common, instead of the things that we don’t. I’m not close to anyone in my church, partly because I’m so busy and don’t have the time. Mostly, I share my thoughts with other like-minded ladies online (I don’t see them as “2-dimensional internet personas,” but as regular women like me, who are reaching out for fellowship and understanding).
      I don’t think we’ll change churches in the near future. Even if we could find a church that is more conservative and held to all our beliefs, it wouldn’t make us grow and stretch like being in a less-conservative church has. And I mean stretching in the sense of having to get along with others who don’t think 100% like we do, even though they do hold to the essentials of the faith (Jesus’ sinless life, death on the cross for our sins, physical resurrection, 2nd coming, etc.).
      That’s not to say, though, that I don’t have moments when I wish for that!
      Jessica

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  3. I am the only one in my church (to my knowledge) who has a different stance on birth control. Many people tell me, albeit nicely, that it’s not my place to think about that stuff because I am unmarried and single as well as I cannot, according to some people, speak about other issues. I think that church, in general, tends to look down on unmarried, single individuals.
    Jessica, I am so blessed by your articles and to know that we have the same opinion on s many issues.

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    1. Well, you may be single now, but that probably won’t last forever, and you need to be prepared for when you do marry! Also, you’re smart enough to have an opinion of your own, and to discern the wrong direction our society is moving in; so, why not share what you observe with others? I think that they just don’t want to hear the truth. Too bad. But, we should keep praying for them.

      Thank you, Irina, for your words of encouragement; I am also blessed to know that we think alike on so many subjects!
      Jessica

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  4. May I say what a wonderful post. My husband and I are Catholics and were brought up to believe contraception to be a sin, but sadly so many Catholics still fall into either using contraception, or the belief that habitual NFP is acceptable because it is natural.

    I absolutely agree with you that contraception and the whole mindset which goes with it leads to an ever increasing spiral of sin and I cannot see how any Christian couple and most particularly any Christian woman can see it as part of God’s plan.

    We don’t all have to marry and if we do we don’t all have to have a huge family, but if we choose to marry, yes procreation is the ultimate purpose of the intimate union of husband and wife, not just the pursuit of pleasure for its own sake.

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    1. Wonderful comment, Susanne! I liked what you said here especially: “…contraception…leads to an ever increasing spiral of sin and I cannot see how any Christian couple and most particularly any Christian woman can see it as part of God’s plan.” Yes! I think that many believers have chosen blindness instead of clarity because the truth isn’t convenient or comfortable for them; but, they’re missing out on God’s best for them. I pray often for God to give His children a change of heart.
      Thanks!
      Jessica

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  5. Having read, thought and prayed about this I think something which should be emphasised more is the degree to which we as women, by accepting the concept of birth control and all that goes with it are responsible for leading our husbands (and men generally) into sin. In much the same way as we do by dressing immodestly.

    By accepting the idea of separating intimacy from it’s Godly context, we are pandering to the idea that the pleasure with which God blesses that union is an end in itself to be enjoyed for it’s own sake – in other words purely for lustfull motives.

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    1. Yes. I have often thought that myself. It seems to me that it wasn’t the men who fought so hard for birth control, it was the women. It was the women who started this all. Yes, men can be lustful and abusive of a woman’s sexuality, so I’m not letting them off the hook. I’m just saying that women took the first step.

      Now, we as married women need to be submissive to our husbands, within moral bounds. However, I wonder whether a great cultural and spiritual transformation might take place if we women were to boldly insist on life without birth control. Might that not counteract, to a degree, the harm that women themselves inflicted upon our society? Since we were responsible for the damage, should we not take more responsibility for the cleanup? Of course, with all due reverence and submission to our husbands’ leadership.
      Jessica

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      1. I agree it was women who campaigned for birth control seemingly oblivious to the deluge of sin that would result and in doing so we removed a natural God ordained break on the lustfull instincts of men.

        Perhaps if women were to realise this and repent en masse there is a good chance that men would return to more virtuous behaviour. Certainly there would be vastly less premarital sex and within marriage the act of intimacy would recover its rightful significance.

        Feminists always object to the way Christian blame women for men’s lustfull behaviour but the fact is that this is one of many examples of how God’s design for us was intended to help men in their fight against sin.

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  6. Which does strengthen my view that Christian women should be taught to regard birth control in every form as a personal sin comparable with abortion and that ideally every possible effort should be made to render contraception unobtainable.

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    1. Definitely. Often, it is the wife who insists on using birth control when her husband might have liked more children; but, he defers to her choice, since he has been taught to do so by society. How many men, if their wives were open to life, would not also follow suit without opposition?

      And, on the whole, if women were taught, as you say, to regard birth control as a sin comparable to abortion, they would probably not marry men who wanted to limit their families by its use, but would rather take interest in the men who were against it. Thus, men would indirectly be instructed in the necessity of living life without birth control, for no godly woman would marry a man who had contrary views. Not that they couldn’t change their minds later on, but even then, there would be limits beyond which a godly woman would refuse to pass.

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  7. By the way I think you are right to point out the link between contraception and pornography after all a couple using contraception are in reality engaging in mutual masturbation. The sin which is the purpose of pornography.

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    1. Thank you for pointing that out. Not all acts of intimacy lead to new life (such as when the wife is already pregnant); but each act needs to be at least OPEN to that possibility by not hindering conception in any way. NFP is also a form of rejecting life, but without using devices or chemicals: same objective, different tool. We would do well to avoid ALL forms of contraception.

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      1. I agree and by being open to the use of birth control as women we are saying to men that we are not completely committed to chastity, that we are prepared to engage in what we should be in no doubt is a sin. Hardly something a Christian husband should look for or even tolerate in a wife.

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      2. Absolutely! And why are we so quick to be men’s personal porn stars? We ourselves exacerbate the brokenness we say we want to be healed of, instead of doing what is best for both ourselves AND them.

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  8. Yes I completely agree on both counts. It has been very much the evolution of my thoughts (in part a response to my own guilt at having in the past wanted my husband to use NFP) that birth control is a sin which is largely the responsibility of us as women.

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  9. I know that men are guilty of sexual sin but I do believe that as those who have the privilege of participating in the true and Godly purpose of sexually God also laid on us the duty by our modesty and chastity to help men avoid sin. By dressing immodestly, by not preserving our purity and by perverting the act of union in marriage by not opening our bodies to his gift of life I think we deserve the blame for the overwhelming majority of sin in this area which is why I believe that fathers husbands the Church and in fact society has a right to impose very high moral standards on women and girls to expect those standards to be obeyed and to both honour Godly women and chastise sinners.

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  10. Guilt is the conscience’ awareness of wrong doing. It is the heart acknowledging one’s sin. Some call this acknowledgment guilt; I call it realism. It is only those who feel no guilt, or at least choose to ignore it, who are living in an alternate reality where wrong is not really wrong and has no consequences. Thank God I’m an “ultra conservative”! That’s just to say that I’ve woken up to the real world and no longer deny the obvious. When we are humble enough to acknowledge our sin, we should at the same time be brave enough to remedy it.

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  11. I completely agree with that sentiment and I think that is right on a personal level. Where I’m less comfortable with my own feelings is that I do feel very strongly that the Church and society generally should not shy away from imposing very strict moral standards on all Christian women as it did in the past.

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      1. I’m sure you are right but that does require parents to take a stand, husband’s to nurture Godly behaviour in their wives and society to insist on obedience.

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