The Blessing of Children

How do I Lovingly Submit to my Husband…When We Disagree? (Family Planning)

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How do I Lovingly Submit to my Husband…When We Disagree? (Head-covering) was the first post in a series of “what to do” articles that may be helpful if you find yourself in a situation where you and your husband don’t see eye-to-eye on important issues. Of course, the tips are my opinions; though I believe them to be supported biblically, you are responsible for studying this issue from the Bible on your own.

SCENARIO #2

I want to leave family planning in God’s hands; I want to have children/more children, but my husband doesn’t.

You may or may not like my answer to this one!

It primarily depends upon what class of birth control your husband intends to use. There are several methods, with varying degrees of harm.

Natural Family Planning. This method involves charting the woman’s basal/resting body temperature, cervical mucus, etc. to keep track of signs of impending fertility. The couple avoids sexual relations during her fertile phase, in order to prevent conception.

**Please read my articles, How “Natural” is NFP? and Intimacy without Barriers to know more about my viewpoint on this.**

Even though I believe NFP to be harmful to the individual, to the marriage, and to society, it is safer than other family planning methods since it doesn’t involve the use of foreign objects or chemicals. I think that if a woman’s husband insists on using NFP, it is appropriate for her to comply to his desire. In this case, I think that God will hold him responsible, and not her. That doesn’t mean they can’t talk about it, though. If God brings up the opportunity, she might talk to her husband about it again (after about six months have passed). She shouldn’t nag him, but tell him how she feels honestly, respectfully, and calmly. Prayer, of course, is always very important! She should trust in God’s timing and wisdom as He deals with her husband’s heart.

It would help if he were also involved in the charting and the decision-making about whether to have relations, or not; in that way, he would help carry the burden of their family planning. If a baby were conceived, he couldn’t point his finger at her alone, but would recognize that he is partly “to blame,” as well (though nobody is really “to blame,” except God!).

In our own journey, it was I who first came to the conclusion that we should leave family planning in God’s hands. My husband came to that conclusion later. Because I felt so strongly about it, I told him that he would have to be the one to decide if we were going to be intimate or not on any particular night. I would chart my signs faithfully and honestly, and he could read them and interpret them. If he wanted information about my signs, I would tell him; but if he wanted my opinion on if we should be intimate or not, I would not tell him that: it was up to him. I wasn’t going to try and be sneaky and fake my signs so that I could have a baby–no. Neither was I going to insist on “coming together” if I knew that wasn’t what he wanted. I was just going to leave it up to his choice. It seemed to me that in that way, I would be able to both obey my conscience and obey my husband at the same time. It turned out, that my husband soon became convinced as well to leave family planning in God’s hands, so we didn’t last long in that phase. Now he’s the one to tell people he knows how off course they are to use birth control!

If you’ve gotten to the point to where you recognize the danger of using chemicals and devices, but still don’t feel sure about what the biblical perspective is regarding natural forms of birth control (you need more time to study in depth before making a definite decision), charting your signs might be an option until you are both confident about God’s will.  After all, even though you are charting, you have the liberty, as a couple, to decide how you will respond to those signs, on a day-by-day basis. Just don’t use your need for more study time as an excuse to delay obedience! If you know what the right thing to do is, what’s stopping you? Just start doing it right away!

Barrier contraceptives. These use a barrier, such as a condom or diaphragm, often coupled with a spermicide, to keep sperm from meeting the egg. I have to say, that I have never used any of these with my husband. When we were still using birth control and were discussing the options available, I told him that they would make me feel like a prostitute, and like he was just using me for sex. They seemed dirty, gross, and vulgar to me. I probably would have slapped him across the face (sorry, I know that’s horrible) before letting him put one of those in my body!

There are potentially some harmful effects you could experience from using this method. It involves putting foreign objects into your body; those foreign objects could upset your body because of the materials they are made of. Beyond that, and the fact that they are associated with prostitution, I don’t know that there is enough harm in their use to justify refusing to have relations with your husband if this is the method he wants to use. However, the issue needs close scrutiny. Is this something that God would consider “wicked?” I kind of think that it is! If you are convicted that it is, perhaps based upon Genesis 38 (where you will read about a different method, but with the same objective) perhaps you do have reason to not submit. But, I’m not sure enough about it to advise you to disobey your husband regarding it.

This doesn’t mean that you need to give in to his desires by using a diaphragm yourself; if you feel convicted that birth control is wrong, you can make the choice to not use it in the forms that are within your control. But if your husband insists on using a condom, you only have two choices: let him do it, or refuse to be intimate. And that’s the reason why I feel uncertain about what I would advise in this situation. On the one hand, you would be letting your husband put something into your body which doesn’t belong there, and you would be going against your conviction to not use birth control. But on the other hand, if you refused to have relations, you would be “depriving him” (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). Which is the greater wrong?

Withrawal. The sperm is ejaculated outside of the woman’s body. Obviously, the woman has no control over this. However, my interpretation of what the Bible say regarding this matter, is that it is displeasing to the Lord, and merits death by His hand (see Genesis 38). However, since the woman herself has no control over it, the only option biblically available to her is to continue having relations with her husband, praying for him, and hoping that he will change. It wouldn’t be right for her to withhold intimacy from him, since her body is not her own, but his (and, may I add, his body isn’t his, either, but hers, something that we can hope God will reveal to him–see 1 Corinthians 7:1-5).

I see this method as being similar to the barrier method: in both cases, the man’s seed is kept from entering the woman’s body, either partially, or completely. That’s why I think that an argument can be made for the “wickedness” of condom use based upon the same scripture that prohibits withdrawal. Yet, even though a woman could refuse to let her husband put a condom in her body, it’s harder for her to keep him from using withdrawal. After all, she can’t know for sure what he will do, until they actually get to that point, and by then, it’s too late.

Hormonal contraceptivesIf you use this method, you will have to put chemicals, and sometimes foreign devices, into your body, to suppress ovulation (some of the time, but not all of the time), and to thin the lining of the uterus, making it very difficult for a newly-conceived baby to implant, thereby killing it (wait, is that called “murder”?) There are various options: the pill, the IUD, the patch, the shot, the ring, and perhaps more that I am not aware of. All of these work similarly. Even though doctors will tell you that they’re “safe,” there are many risks, both to the woman, and to any babies who are conceived (whom she doesn’t know about) after a woman starts to use them. Please, please read the FREE, downloadable book, Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?, by Randy Alcorn. If you want to have the paperback version, it only costs $3.00.

If my husband asked me to take our two-year-old out back and beat her with a crowbar (which he would NEVER do!–but this is just for argument’s sake), I of course would REFUSE! Not only should one refuse to harm another human being in that fashion (possibly killing her) according to the law of the Bible, but one should refuse to do so, according to the law of the land!

Similarly, if my husband asked me to give our two-year-old a certain food that we knew she was severely allergic to, possibly leading to her death, I of course would REFUSE! Even if I wasn’t 100% sure that she would die, I still wouldn’t take the risk!

**Again, this is all hypothetical, and for the sake of making a point. Neither my husband nor I would ever do any such things to our precious children.**

Hormonal contraceptives have the potential to murder days’ old babies. Now, they might not die, but just the possibility alone gives one enough justification to not use this method. This is a situation where I DO NOT advocate that a woman submit to her husband. More than her own health is at stake; a possibly newly-conceived baby’s life is also at stake. Listen: if you believe that a person’s life begins at conception, as the Bible teaches, and Science supports, you should give this matter VERY SERIOUS CONSIDERATION! Don’t go with what your feelings tell you; don’t go with what your friends tell you; don’t even go with what your doctor tells you. Do the research, and humble your heart before God. Read articles like this one, from American Life League.

This is not a situation where I believe that God will excuse your actions by holding your husband responsible instead of you. Why? Because more than you own life is at risk! This isn’t just your body we’re talking about; we’re talking about another human being’s body, too. You can’t kill another person, or knowingly do something that might kill another person, and put the blame on your husband! In this case, it doesn’t work that way. Similar to how I can’t obey my husband if he asks me to do something that would put our two-year-old’s life at risk, I couldn’t (and shouldn’t) obey him if he asks me to do something that would put our two-day-old’s life at risk.

Sterilization/tubal ligation. In this case, the body is surgically “mutilated” so that either the male or the female cannot reproduce. This involves destroying what was previously healthy and good, what God Himself made; it is different than doing a surgery to repair some damaged or sick part of the body. Sometimes there are harmful effects that are not seen until afterwards. I would not do this to myself, and after realizing how sterilization could harm my husband’s health, I knew I couldn’t ask him to do this to himself, either. But, if my husband wanted to do it to himself, how could I stop him? (Just hypothetical, again). I have heard from several people who say they regretted doing this. At the time, they felt so overwhelmed they thought it was the best option; but later on, they wished they wouldn’t have. Sometimes reversals are successful, but sometimes they’re not. If you’ve had “the surgery,” please consider a reversal; there are some organizations that help with expenses.

You should not allow any one to pressure you into “tying your tubes.” Yes, your body belongs to your husband, and his belongs to you. However, he can not, and should not, try to force you to do something to your body that could harm it. Only you can make that choice. If my husband asked me to cut off my right arm, I wouldn’t do it. In fact, I might call the police.

****

Understandably, a couple may choose birth control because they think that if the woman was to become pregnant again, her health or her life could be at risk. If we were in that situation, what would my husband and I do? Since we’ve never been in that place, I can’t tell you definitively; I can only tell you what I think we’d do (hopefully the right thing). I’m not going to tell you what to do; but I am going to remind you that the Christian life is not meant to be soft and cushy. Our home is in heaven and we are just sojourners here. There may be trials involved when we obey God; that is the risk we take when we follow Christ–we take up our cross. Just like a missionary may obey God at the risk of his life, so a couple may obey God (by leaving family planning in God’s hands) at the risk of the wife’s life. I know this seems cruel. However, I am trying to be consistent and biblical. I’m trying to let go of my preconceptions, and just accept by faith what God says in His word.

I may later change my mind about these things, but I do feel very strongly about them right now. The only thing that could make me change my mind is the Word of God itself.

I believe that the wife should be respectful and obedient toward her husband in most things. There are a few things, however, in which she cannot submit, such as in the case of using hormonal contraceptives. However, this should not be done with a defiant attitude, but with quiet and humble firmness–and while trusting in God for the outcome.

Also, it is important to do much patient study, hopefully together with your husband. Opinions don’t usually change over night. Your husband may need time to change his mind.

It may be hard to submit to your husband if his desire is to not have children! (or to not have more children). If you read the first few chapters of 1 Samuel, you see how much a woman can suffer when she isn’t able to have children! I think that sometimes men don’t understand this deep longing for children. But God does! He created you, and He knows your deepest desires! He listens to your prayers!

Give ear to my words, O LORD,

Consider my meditation.

Give heed to the voice of my cry,

My King and my God,

For to You I will pray.

My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD;

In the morning I will direct it to You,

And I will look up.

Psalm 5:1-3

This may be a way that you “take up your cross” in order to follow Christ: you obey your husband even though it’s the exact opposite of what you long for! (unless he wants you to do something wicked, or that could kill a baby, or hurt you). All the time knowing that God sees all, knows all, and is capable of bringing to pass what you most long for! However, try to focus on the other blessings that God has given you already. Don’t let the absence of one thing (as huge as it is) diminish your ability to live joyfully in your present circumstances. A prayer is something that we shape with our hearts, and then let go of. After we have released it, it is now out of our hands, and in His.

I hope this has been helpful. This topic is certainly very intense, and very controversial! I have given my own opinion, which I believe is biblical, but I am not responsible for you; YOU are responsible for you and your actions. Please take the time to study.

I’d like to leave off with this important Bible verse:

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 

 

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13 thoughts on “How do I Lovingly Submit to my Husband…When We Disagree? (Family Planning)

  1. Excellent thoughts here, Jessica. I’m thrilled to see such outside-the-box thinking on this issue.

    Usually what I see is “there’s nothing in the Bible against birth control, and she has to submit to his desires” thinking. That is exactly what Debi wrote in “Created to be His Help Meet,” one of the only parts of that book with which I violently disagreed.

    We can’t stop a husband from practicing birth control against our wishes (the forms that are up to him), but we shouldn’t compound his sin – by, for example, taking hormonal contraceptives and thus sinning as well.

    “I believe that the wife should be respectful and obedient toward her husband in most things. There are a few things, however, in which she cannot submit, such as in the case of using hormonal contraceptives. However, this should not be done with a defiant attitude, but with quiet and humble firmness–and while trusting in God for the outcome.”

    Yes!!

    I also agree about trusting God in life-threatening situations. Here’s how I look at it: Either God is trustworthy and sovereign in conception, or He is not. If He is, He is trustworthy every time. No exceptions. Once people say, “Okay, just in this ONE circumstance…” the door has been opened and the rest is just a matter of time. In 1930 when the most liberal Protestant denomination approved birth control, it was ONLY for hardcore, exceptional situations. But it was a slippery slope from there (i.e. more and more excuses approved), and it was only forty-odd years later that abortion was legalized and those same churches have opened the door to abortion as well.

    Wonderful post.

    Diana

    P.S. I should say that the above approach is actually what my husband took with ME when I was in our “we need to stop our childbearing years NOW!” mode. I was nagging him toward permanent sterilization, and he just calmly repeated (hundreds of times) that I was free to do as I wished, but that he would not go along with sterilizing himself because he believed it was wrong. Thankfully I was too big a coward to go ahead with it, and God changed my mind in the meantime. 🙂

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    1. After reading your comment, I realized that I needed to add one more thing to my post. Here it is (I’ve already updated the post):
      “In our own journey, it was I who first came to the conclusion that we should leave family planning in God’s hands. My husband came to that conclusion later. Because I felt so strongly about it, I told him that he would have to be the one to decide if we were going to be intimate, or not, on any particular night. I would chart my signs faithfully and honestly, and he could read them and interpret them. If he wanted information about my signs, I would tell him; but if he wanted to ask me if we should be intimate or not, I would not tell him that; it was up to him. I wasn’t going to try and be sneaky and fake my signs so that I could have a baby–no. Neither was I going to insist on “coming together” if I knew that wasn’t what he wanted. I was just going to leave it up to his choice. It seemed to me that in that way, I would be able to both obey my conscience and obey my husband at the same time. It turned out, that my husband soon became convinced, as well, to leave family planning in God’s hands, so we didn’t last long in that phase. Now he’s the one to tell people he knows how off course they are to use birth control!”
      I’d also like to add, that even though I haven’t yet read Created to be His Help Meet (though I’ve heard about it, and I want to read it soon), I do receive emails from No Greater Joy’s weekly mail-outs. In one of those, they had posted a Q&A regarding birth control, where Debi told a lady that “the Bible doesn’t say that it’s a sin to use birth control, but it does say that it’s a sin to not submit to your husband,” and after reading it, I felt pretty much the same way as you described! I was so upset that she had given the other lady some bad advice! Because the Bible DOES say that birth control is sin. It’s hard for me to understand how someone as smart and wise (in other things) as Michael Pearl could believe that lie!
      Something from the Bible that supports not submitting in ALL things is the story of Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1-11). First, her husband lied to Peter about the profit from the sale of their land. He was struck dead. Then, she was asked about the same matter. She lied, too, and was struck dead as well! Now, an argument could be made (though it wouldn’t be valid) that she had lied only to submit to her husband. Why then, was SHE also struck dead? It seems to me, like you say, that “we shouldn’t compound his sin.” Thanks for making that point!
      And yes, one compromise leads to another, as in the case of the church accepting birth control. I totally agree with you!
      Jessica

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      1. Minor correction. Here’s what Debi wrote, word-for-word, in the part of the article which I was referring to:
        [regarding not using any kind of family planning] “You got your ‘conviction’ someplace other than the Bible. The Bible does not state that it is sin to use natural means to space your children, but it does state it is sin not to obey your husband. He should have the final say in birth control, unless he would employ a method that would abort a fertilized egg. It is your duty to trust God to direct your man.”
        The part that I have a problem with is where she says that the conviction to not use any form of family planning doesn’t come from the Bible. Wait–yes, it does! If God said to “be fruitful and multiply,” and we take measures to keep that from happening, then we’re sinning! The Bible doesn’t actually say, “NFP is wrong,” similar to how it doesn’t actually say, “pornography is wrong”; but, we know that it’s true because we take what it says as a whole, instead of nit-picking about terminology.
        Also, I question whether a woman needs to submit to certain forms of birth control such as using a diaphragm, for example, or using a spermicidal jelly, since these are forms of B.C. that would entail putting into her own body something foreign to it, potentially damaging it.
        However, I am pleased that Debi recognizes the harm in using methods that would abort a “fertilized egg.”
        Jessica

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      2. I can’t remember if she (Debi) addressed specific birth control methods in her book. What I do remember is that the section addressing the matter dealt with a woman who had refused to use birth control and kept having babies against her husband’s will, and then her husband left her. Debi basically told her, “This is your fault, sorry, no sympathy.” So, lots of problems there. This might be where the NFP solution we discussed earlier might have come in. Chart, let the husband know of her fertility state, and let him make the decision. Or let him make a decision to use a barrier method.

        However, this ignores the issue of the husband’s sin. Leaving his wife because she had more babies than he wanted? Well, there are words to describe such a man, but I’m not going to use any of them! And Debi doesn’t address this at all – just blames the woman for not submitting.

        Additionally, it seems that the man in question placed the burden of birth control on his wife and then blamed her for the pregnancies.

        This part of her book really did make me upset. Other parts of it are very good, if you can get past the language (I found it… well, vulgar in tone – you’ll see what I mean – but the actual material has value).

        She is also adamantly against headcovering, by the way. They are in the “her covering is her long hair” camp. However, she does also note that if a husband desires his wife to cover her head (cloth), then she should submit.

        You’ll have to let me know what you think when you read the book!

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  2. Another wonderful post. I so feel for women who absolutely know in their hearts that they should trust God, but who’s husbands are not on the same page.

    You are right, we do have a duty to submit to our husband in marriage and I think I agree with you about circumstances where the husband chooses to use a barrier or withdraw. Although I would say that in those circumstances I don’t think it would be right to participate (for example by buying condoms or helping him use them) or by initiating sex.

    I think your approach to NFP is probably right to. As far as any form of hormonal birth control is concerned I agree that is simply never acceptable.

    Can I add that in the reverse circumstance, where the husband trusts God but the wife does not I cannot see any circumstances where there is Godly justification for anything other than submission.

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    1. Agreed!
      I feel the same way: I don’t think it is right for the wife to participate in birth control, either; however, since she is also supposed to be submissive to her husband, the only resolution/combination of the two objectives (leaving family planning in God’s hands AND being a submissive wife) that I can see is to allow the husband to decide which days he wants to be intimate, but without the wife urging him one way or the other (the NFP example I gave). And I also agree with you, that if the wife doesn’t want children, but the husband does, she really doesn’t have an excuse to not give him the children that he desires! We think our bodies belong to us, but they don’t–they belong to God, and we must use them to obey Him, even if it’s hard, even if it hurts–just like Jesus obeyed His Father, even to the point of death. God never said obedience would be easy.
      So much to say! But I guess I’ll have to leave more for later…:)
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Susanne!
      Jessica

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      1. I completely agree on your final point. Obviously a husband should consider his wife’s health and wellbeing, but ultimately as a wife you are called to submit to God and your husband.

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  3. I’m very confused in this area. At first I was fairly certain we should let God give us as many children as he wants. In ten years of marriage (one using hormonal birth control, and another using less reliable method) that number had been ZERO. My body is in menopause, and I’m not even thirty!!! My husband was not interested in having children right away.

    We started doing foster care, and have a wonderful little boy to call our own now. This is where it gets me confusing for me.

    First of all I desperately want to be pendant and have a baby myself, which will involve serious medical intervention and some unique form of adoption (donor embryo or egg). I’m not sure if God approves or not, since it’s leading to life, not death, I lean towards yes, but I’m not certain.

    My other concern is that I’ve had up to seven kids in my house doing foster care. And I LOATHE it. When it is just my son and me, I am a patient, consistent, interactive mama, who loves nothing more than to spend her time with him, well except to spend time with my husband . When I have more, it gets exponentially less pleasant, and I don’t give any of them the time, patience, and love they deserve. I go from loving each moment with my son, to counting down the minutes until bedtime so I get a mental break. If by some miracle my womb were to become fruitful, I’m not sure how well I would handle the sudden onslaught of babies that could occur. I’m not sure I’m good at this mom thing, and I know I’m terrible at it with lots of kids. If I know I suck at it, should I really create a sub par home just so I can have an unlimited number of kids?

    Obviously this will not likely be an issue for me, but it’s something I’ve thought about…

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    1. Dear Rachel,
      Thank you so much for your comment! I love to get comments, and I feel so honored that you would so openly share your story with me! I will do my best to answer.

      You bring up several points, all closely related. I’d like to deal with them one by one.

      1) You say you’re not even thirty, and in menopause. I wonder if that’s what’s really going on in your body, or might it be something else? 🙂 There are various reasons why a woman may not be able to conceive, which could possibly be solved by natural means (or it may be the husband who has the issue, and if that’s the case, there may be natural remedies for him, too). I would suggest you see a naturopath doctor or a midwife, who will be skilled in advising you what to do to help your body. You might be interested in reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. The website also has a lot of tips, though I’ve only lightly perused it.
      http://www.tcoyf.com/taking-charge-of-your-fertility/

      2)I do not recommend in vitro fertilization (IVF). In the process, several tiny fetuses (babies) will most likely die, and that is called…murder. There are some risks that are reasonable in life, and there are others that are not. The unreasonable risks, like IVF, often involve someone’s life being unnecessarily put on the line. Why would we utilize IVF in order to hopefully get pregnant with one baby, while we know that in the process several more babies will probably die? For further reading, I recommend the following book, which you can read for free in PDF form:
      http://www.epm.org/static/uploads/downloads/bcpill.pdf

      Furthermore, the Bible illustrates for us the consequences of trying to have a child by another person who is not our spouse. The stories of Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar; and Jacob, Rachel, Leah, and their maidservants, portray the drama of how doing so messes up one’s marriage, and is surely not God’s will, and not His best for us. I think that sperm or embryo donation fall into this category, but in a modern-day scenario.

      3)Foster care vs. having our own children. I have to say, that I only LIKE other people’s children, but I absolutely LOVE my own children. I think that’s pretty typical for most of us. It’s harder for us to deal with other people’s children’s misbehavior than it is for us to deal with it in children that are our own flesh and blood. God made it so that mothers would start bonding with their babies even while they are still in the womb, continuing with nursing, etc., so that hormonal factors strengthen the bonds. But, that is a missing factor when caring for children we’ve never carried in our own womb, making it harder for us to bond with them; not to say that it’s impossible, however, as your close relationship with your adopted son shows.
      To my thinking, if you don’t like foster care, don’t do it. Focus on raising your own son for now. Maybe you’ll feel different later. Or, try only fostering one or two at a time, instead of seven.
      I have six children, but they didn’t come all at once. It was one by one, which gave me the chance to adjust. I don’t know how well I would have done with six all at once, though! So, don’t be so hard on yourself. Maybe you need to cut back. Ask your husband about it. Share your feelings respectfully. Let him know you feel like your’e in over your head, and he’ll probably understand :).

      4)”If by some miracle my womb were to become fruitful, I’m not sure how well I would handle the sudden onslaught of babies that could occur. I’m not sure I’m good at this mom thing, and I know I’m terrible at it with lots of kids. If I know I suck at it, should I really create a sub par home just so I can have an unlimited number of kids?”
      This is a common sentiment.
      Let me ask you: Do feelings have to come first for obedience to happen? What I mean by that is this: Do we have to feel like we can handle what God may ask of us before we say “yes” to Him? If He tells us to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28), and if He tells us that “children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward” (Psalm 127:3), then what justifiable cause do we have to grumble against His will, or to limit His blessings upon our life (in the form of children)? Sometimes we feel terrified of the “what-ifs” before we really know what will happen! How do you know that if God was to bless you with a fruitful womb that you WOULDN’T be able to handle it? I’m sure that if you trust in God, He will help you to patiently endure whatever He allows to come your way!

      5)Finally, you might want to consider that it may not be God’s will for you to have children right now. I’m not saying, not EVER; but I am saying, not RIGHT NOW. But…what if it WAS not ever? Would you be okay with that? Could you accept that? Because, in the end, God is sovereign. If you want to have children, and you and your husband are not doing anything (to your knowledge) that would prevent that, and even after trying natural remedies to help your body, you still aren’t able to get pregnant, can you be at peace with that? Please don’t lose hope that God can do a miracle in your life! But, at the same time, please be willing to accept whatever God’s will is for your life, even if that means remaining without children from your own flesh and blood :).

      Rachel, I hope my comment has not been too harsh. I want to be honest and frank with you; however, I do not want to hurt your feelings, and I hope I have not done so. Please know that I sympathize with your situation, and that I will be praying for you. Feel free to ask any other questions or share any other concerns with me, if you want.
      Jessica

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  4. Can I just add that from a strict Catholic perspective IVF is forbidden not just for the critical reason that it involves the murder of fertilised embryos but also because it is a sin for the husband to masturbate.

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