Why is headcovering so hard?

I’m not going to address challenges other people might have with headcovering, here. I’m simply going to talk about my own experiences:

Why is headcovering so hard? For me, one of the difficulties is the see-ability of it. You know, like when you wear a cross necklace to the grocery store, and then end up arguing with, let’s say, the lady at the cash register (I’m not admitting to anything here, just giving an example). It feels inconsistent, doesn’t it, to be wearing a symbol of your faith*, while your actions speak a different message. Man. You SAY you’re a Christian, but what about the way you act? What about the way you talk?

If you wear a headcovering, there is little margin for error, since everybody KNOWS you’re supposed to be this godly, mature, holy, woman of God.  Well, that’s what I’d like to be, anyway.

I really, REALLY struggle with submission, to put it bluntly. You know that verse that says, “a quiet and gentle spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God”? Well, I don’t have that. Yet. I’m not gentle. And I’m not quiet. What’s the matter with me?

As I understand it, being quiet is really equivalent to having control over what comes out of my mouth. I suppose that if I really think through what I say BEFORE I say it, I might end up deciding not to say it after all. THEN, I’d be quieter.

Being gentle. Is that  like being a human sugar cookie, always sweet and non-confrontational, and never venturing to do anything bold? I don’t know. I DO know that Christ demonstrated gentleness, which is seen in His ability to be IN TUNE with people and what they were going through. He was compassionate, caring and concerned. And, He always did what the Father wanted, and never argued with the Father’s plan. Yet, He was bold in His obedience to the Father, which sometimes (or often) meant going against what the current religious leaders were teaching.

Here’s the thing: I have such strong opinions! I have a hard time keeping them back. You might as well tell a river to stop flowing. My brain is constantly ON, and thoughts keep getting pumped through my nerve pathways. As soon as I get a good idea, well, of course I have to tell somebody! And then, if they don’t agree with me, well, of course I have to tell them that they’re wrong! Right?

Yikes. I’m a monster. My ego is a giant. My words spray graffiti over the entire wall, when a simple little “penciled note” would have worked just as well, or better. Then, comes time for our evening prayer around the dinner table. Uh oh. There hangs my prayer shawl, over the back of my chair. Clearly, I have to put it on. I would be in disobedience to the Lord if I didn’t. Now I feel guilty. Why is headcovering so hard?

*“a symbol of your faith”: I don’t mean to say that the cross sign came to us from God as an emblem of the Christian religion (though Christ did die on a cross for our sins); rather, we have made it so, and it has become incorporated into our worship, and even into our culture at large. So, I don’t mean to say that the cross sign is biblically mandated; BUT, the headcovering IS. God never said, “You must wear a cross necklace.” But He DID say, “You women must wear a headcovering during prayer and prophesying.”

(Next, please read my post, Straightening, which is the companion to this article.)

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~Ladies, feel free to share your thoughts! What is the hardest thing about headcovering to YOU? What did you do to deal with it? Please, tell us!~