Is Headcovering Hypocritical?

Today, let’s take a look at a heated topic: that of headcovering and hypocrisy. How are these concepts related? ARE they related? First, here are the definitions of the words “hypocrisy” and “hypocrite” from the American Dictionary of the English Language, by Noah Webster, 1828:


 

HYPOCRISY

1. Simulation; a feigning to be what one is not; or dissimulation, a concealment of one’s real character or motives. More generally, hypocrisy is simulation, or the assuming of a false appearance of virtue or religion; a deceitful show of a good character, in morals or religion; a counterfeiting of religion.

Beware ye of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. -Luke xii

2. Simulation; deceitful appearance; false pretence.

Hyposcrisy is the necessary burden of villainy. -Rambler

HYPOCRITE

1. One who feigns to be what he is not; one who has the form of godliness without the power, or who assumes an appearance of piety and virtue, when he is destitute of true religion.

And the hypocrite’s hope shall perish. -Job viii

2. A dissembler; one who assumes a false appearance.

Fair hypocrite, you seek to cheat in vain. -Dryden


Some words which stand out to me are: “simulation,” “feigning,” “false appearance,” “deceitful show,” and “counterfeiting.” Is it possible for someone to present an appearance of being good, without actually supporting that appearance with the substance of good character? Is it possible for someone to be a religious fake? Yes, it is.

We don’t want anyone to know our flaws. Or worse, sometimes we don’t think we have any! When it’s time to present ourselves to the public, we pull out our makeup bag of cosmetic tricks, and cover up the defects with a smooth layer of superficiality. Some folks are especially good at this art. They are good at deceiving others, and they are good at deceiving themselves. (By the way, I’m speaking figuratively here. Is makeup okay for the Christian to use? That’s not a question we will be addressing in this post. Maybe later…)

Is it possible for a headcovering woman to be a hypocrite? Yes, it is. She might have the appearance of being a godly woman who respects her husband, but as soon as she gets home, off comes the covering, and there she is, bossing him around again.

Or, she might be the kind of person who enjoys a tender morsel of gossip. Perhaps, she indulges in tasty bits of criticism against her sisters in Christ. Is this right? NO.

So, then: If SOME people might engage in religious hypocrisy related to the headcovering, does that mean we should just throw the whole thing out? Let me answer that question with another query: If SOME people don’t have perfect lives and struggle with weaknesses, does that mean that they should just throw church out the window? “Only perfect people allowed here. No one who is struggling. No one with problems. Otherwise, they might actually find a solution to their conflicts.” The people who need church the most, are those who are dealing with the hardest battles! If we bar their access to church activities because we’re afraid of hypocrisy, we are restricting them from access to the solutions that will help them the most! (*Though I do recognize there is a place for church discipline when there is unrepented-of sin present, after the individual has been given ample opportunity to repent, and has not chosen to do so.)

One way of looking at the headcovering is by viewing it as an educational TOOL. It is a hands-on manipulative to help people grasp the meaning of God’s creation of gender roles, and His intended order for the church. As we try to implement the use of the headcovering in our lives, are we going to do it perfectly? Are we never going to face hurdles and obstructions? Of course not! We WILL experience these things, most of all from WITHIN ourselves, as we attempt to free ourselves from the layers of misconceptions piled on top us from our current culture of gender confusion and feminism.

Our mothers may have modeled to us since we were babes in diapers how to be disrespectful to one’s husband, how to argue and fight our way to the top, how to never take “no” for an answer (though not everyone’s mother was like this, I’m sure). They may not have taught us these things directly, with their words, but rather indirectly, with their actions. After 18 or so years of absorbing this kind of philosophy, and seeing it lived out in the lives of our parents, is it any wonder that we have such a hard time changing our attitudes in our own marriages? These patterns and attitudes we have learned over the course of a lifetime don’t dissolve over night. Changing our approach to life takes time and effort. And if we throw out the headcovering, we are actually ditching one of the tools that will be most useful to us in our transformation!

So what do you do when, as a headcovering woman, you just talked to your husband in a condescending, disrespectful way? Should you trash your headcovering because you’re afraid of becoming a hypocrite? NO! You should closely examine your heart, and resolve to persevere in letting God continue to change you. Put your covering back on, and once again, commit to live up to the standard and expectation that it raises high before us! And don’t neglect to apologize to your husband, and make amends with him for your behavior.

Headcovering and hypocrisy are not synonymous terms.

We, as frail human beings have a tendency to become hypocritical in many ways, but headcovering doesn’t have to be one of them, if we are willing to work on our attitudes. Please, don’t give up on headcovering when it gets hard. Don’t give up on headcovering because your friends might think you are a hypocrite.  Don’t give up on headcovering even if you make the mistake of acting hypocritical yourself. Simply, do what needs to be done to change your attitude, but continue to obey God by living out His command regarding headcovering.

” Who can understand his errors?

Cleanse me from secret faults.

Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins;

Let them not have dominion over me.

Then I shall be blameless,

And I shall be innocent of great transgression.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

Be acceptable in Your sight,

O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.”

Psalm 19:12-14

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14 thoughts on “Is Headcovering Hypocritical?

  1. Dear Jessica, (today there is a PC connection problem so I am writing this from my mobile device)

    Hi, Jessica. I do appreciate this post. With your God-given analytical ability and insight, you are really helping me to understand some of the tricky issues such as hypocrisy.

    Last weekend, I have been struggling with a send of doubt that,, after all I might be a legalist and do not really grasp the real meaning of grace and this agony brought me tears. And I cried to God to grant me mercy for understanding the meaning of law, faith and grace. Because the last thing I want to do is to say or write anything against the things which God originally means and cause others to go against the truth of the Gospel.

    This post helped me and it spoke to my heart that I should not go to either extreme in my way of thinking. I am so grateful that we are One Body and I don’t need to know perfectly. I can receive help from other members of His body! Thanks God!

    Today is our prayer day. Today’s prayer to you is that our Lord would anoint you more and more and deliver messages to restore our confused and broken world.

    In Jesus name, Amen.
    from your headcovering friend, Kinuko

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    • Thank you, Kinuko, for your message today. You’re not the only one who struggles with understanding the legalism / grace issue; I sometimes have a hard time with this topic myself! I think what you wrote on the subject of legalism (antinomianism) last week was wonderful. I especially enjoyed the quotes from Deitrich Bonhoeffer regarding “cheap grace.”

      We are Christ’s slaves (some say servants, but it seems the Bible uses the language of “slave” when it talks about us as God’s “purchased possession,” etc). Because Christ purchased us with His blood, we no longer belong to the world, to obey the lusts thereof, but we belong to Christ, and must obey Him. There is no legalism in that, but love and thankfulness that Christ has rescued us from our previous owners: Satan, the world, and the flesh. Obedience is not legalistic. What IS legalistic is thinking that we can earn God’s favor through our good works. What good works? The Bible says our “righteousness” is like filthy rags. I’ve heard some say that the Bible is referring to the blood-stained rags of menstruation. Yuck. And that’s what our “goodness” looks like to God! So then, we obey because we love God and are filled with gratefulness for what He’s done for us (not to mention that obeying God’s Word is GOOD for us), and at the same time, we recognize that our obedience can do nothing to earn God’s favor, because Jesus’ goodness is the only goodness that counts toward our eternal salvation; and as we think on that truth, we are filled with MORE gratefulness, and a desire to obey Him even more. I might mention, though, that the Bible does indicate that there will be REWARDS for our obedience (I press forward toward the PRIZE, as Paul says, etc.). Our worthless works will be burned away as chaff, but our valuable works will remain, and will be rewarded. That’s how I understand it. What do you think?
      Jessica

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  2. Dear Jessica,

    Thank you so much for your understanding. I was actually relieved to hear from you that I am not the only one who is struggling with the understanding of law and grace. Thank you! When you mentioned the “slave”, it intrigued me and I started to search about the definition of this word. You know what Jessica, I did not have this kind of habit before. Through this interaction with you, I also started to find the truth in the Bible. The spirit of truth-seeking in you has influenced me deeply and I do appreciate you for who you are in Christ.

    By the way, here is an excerpt from GotQuestions about the meaning of bondservant or slave which I found this morning.

    “A bondservant is a slave. In some Bibles the wordbondservantis the translation of the Greek word doulos, which means “one who is subservient to, and entirely at the disposal of, his master; a slave.” Other translations use the word slave or servant.

    In Roman times, the term bondservant or slave could refer to someone who voluntarily served others. But it usually referred to one who was held in a permanent position of servitude. Under Roman law, a bondservant was considered the owner’s personal property. Slaves essentially had no rights and could even be killed with impunity by their owners.

    ,, Throughout the New Testament, the word bondservant,slave, or servant is applied metaphorically to someone absolutely devoted to Jesus. Paul, Timothy, James, Peter, and Jude all describe themselves as “bondservants of Christ” (Romans 1:1;Philippians 1:1;James 1:1;2 Peter 1:1;Jude 1:1, NKJV).

    Believers today should still consider themselves bondservants or slaves of Christ (1 Corinthians 7:22;Ephesians 6:6;2 Timothy 2:24). He is our Lord, and our allegiance is due to Him alone. As bondservants, we renounce other masters (Matthew 6:24) and give ourselves totally to Him (Matthew 16:24).[http://www.gotquestions.org/bondservant.html]”

    As you told me, we are Christ’s slave and God’s purchased possession. Amen. This realization must help me how to act in my daily walk with the Lord and with the people around me. Have a blessed day, Jessica. From Kinuko

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    • I’m grateful for the added insights your research has brought to this conversation, Kinuko! Not too long ago, I responded to a dear lady who commented that I don’t believe the Bible teaches that true believers can lose their salvation. I then used a verse from Ephesians to help make that point. The verse says that God gave us His Holy Spirit as a seal, a guarantee of the purchased possession. So, we have been purchased by God with Jesus’ blood, to be HIS slaves to obey, and He has put His seal on us, indicating His ownership. What are we going to do, rip off the seal, and run away? Though some may think this is possible, I think it is far-fetched.

      Knowing that I belong to the Lord, takes away the fear that I must follow rules (legalism) to earn God’s favor, and somehow “keep” my salvation. However, as I replied to the lady who commented the other day, this knowledge does not influence me to “sin that grace may abound” — no way! Actually, while I feel secure in my Lord’s care, I desire to serve Him all the more cheerfully. I think the idea that a belief in “once saved, always saved” leads us to cheapen His grace is unfounded. I believe that as TRUE believers (having experienced a genuine conversion of the heart), we are eternally secure, and I also believe in pre-destination, at the same time that I acknowledge we all have free-will. A mystery, certainly, how these seeming contradictory concepts can fit together, but it is nevertheless what the Bible teaches. I was predestined before the beginning of the world to be saved. Accordingly, as the Father drew me to the Son, I believed. I never would have had the faith to believe, if it wouldn’t have been for God drawing me. Then, the Lord preserved me through the turbulent phases of my youth. Even now, He keeps me steady with His hand, always extended to help in times of need.

      I deeply value your friendship, Kinuko, and cherish every comment that you post. Thank you very much for your dedication to encourage and support your sisters in Christ!
      Jessica

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  3. Dear Jessica,

    Good morning! Thank you so much for your reply. In my recent post, I wrote about your very positive influence on me, so whenever you have time, please come to read it .

    The things you kindly shared with me were my year-long struggles. I can hardly write them down in a page or two! But I will honestly share with you some of my process.

    Though it was not my wish, I had been entangled with various forms of theologies. Calvinist-Arminian controversies, predestination and free will, the doctrine of perseverance of the saints are some of the issues which I had been tackling over the years.

    (Now I am talking about myself and my own experiences), but I realized that those theological “catchwords” did not really help me to understand the totality of the Bible message. I realized that once a certain aspect of the biblical truth was lifted up and fixed tightly as a theological dogma, it becomes like a fossil, or like sun-glasses. Rather than helping us to understand, often times, it hinders me to grasp and see the truth as it is. When I look at some Study Bibles, I see the section of “problematic/difficult verses”, but in reality, it seems to me that humans make these verses problematic and difficult to understand because of the fixed fossils.

    One of my spiritual transformations after headcovering was this very recognition that I need to take away many of my pre-assumptions and theological biases which I had been indoctrinated over the years, in order to grasp the simple message of the Gospel. I told my husband recently that I feel I am still very blind and I need to seek the Bible truth with renewed mind and spirit. Through encounter with you, God encourages me to go to the Bible itself and not extra-biblical materials. Now I started to be a lover of the Bible like you!!

    Thank you for your friendship, Jessica. Have a blessed day! Kinuko

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    • Dear Kinuko,
      I think we all struggle with those same issues at different times. Maybe we don’t know the fancy terms, but we do know that we want to be sure of whether we will always be saved, even if we experience periods of sinfulness and distancing from God. I don’t know much about Calvinism, or Arminianism. I have heard that Calvin was a strong believer in the doctrine of predestination. The reason I believe in predestination, isn’t because Calvin taught it; it is because the Bible teaches it, and the word “predestined” is right there in the pages of our sacred Book.

      Recently, my sweet daughter gave me a King James Bible as a gift. This Bible does not include notes or comments, though it does have references and translations of difficult words (difficult, at least sometimes, for us modern English speakers). I’m finding that I LOVE reading the Bible without all those comments at the bottom of the page. Before, whenever I came to a difficult section, I would look down at the notes to see what the authors of my study Bible had to say. Now, when I come to a hard to understand part, I just think about it extra hard, I look up the suggested Bible references, and I jot down the verse for my notebook. This way of studying is so much better! I still love my study Bible, and the notes ARE helpful, I think. But, I want to know what the Bible itself has to say, more than I want to know what someone else thinks about a particular passage.

      I’m a follower of no one: not Luther, not Calvin, nor anybody else (though certainly we can learn from those before us, and be inspired by their lives). I am a follower of JESUS CHRIST. HIS Words are the Words of eternal life, and I want to know what HE has to say. Having said that, I do realize that our preconceptions are quite persistent, aren’t they, even when we try to read the Bible without those “sunglasses”! I’m glad that I’ve found a friend in you, and that you are devoted to the truth, and honest about your struggles. I think we can learn a lot from each other!
      Your friend,
      Jessica

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  4. I have enjoyed your posts. I have just made a decision to cover my head during prayer. I am still figuring it out. I didn’t want to fall in the temptation of high mindedness which I think is why head covering is often rejected. I wanted to do it for the right reasons. It came to two points for me. The first being “because of the Angels.” The Apostle Paul makes many references to the fact that the work being done in us by the Holy Spirit through the faith of Christ is being put on display to the Angels. Now I am simple person and I don’t presume to know exactly the whys and how. I just came to see that head covering was apart of that manifold wisdom of God being put on display to the Angels. The second point was if I could understand what 11:16 meant then it would add all the necessary clarity I needed to make my decision. I had been praying about that when I found my answer in an unrelated study. In the council of Ephesus of 430 AD, Nestorius references that very verse in his second letter to Cyril. His reason for referencing it is that he wanted to be clear that no matter how their opinions differed it wasn’t the custom of the church to be contentious so he wanted to end the letter in brotherly love. Well, that helped me out.

    In relation to law and grace, understanding Romans 6-8 thoroughly helped me. I know that by minding the things of the Spirit, that is minding that He baptized me into the death of Christ making me dead to sin, no longer under the dominion of sin is one of the first steps towards living a sanctified life. What legalisms comes from is focusing on the law instead of the baptism of the Holy Spirit. When we are baptized by our faith in the faith of Christ, we are being given a new identity in Christ. When we trust that Holy Spirit has through Christ given us a new identity so that when the Father looks at us He sees His Son. Not that we are His Son but that we are imputed with His Righteousness, at peace with God, dead to sin, alive unto God, at-one-ment with God and a child of God having all that is necessary to have a relationship with our Holy God. When we are established in these foundational doctrines, minding them and reckoning them to be true then we can see how we are not under the law and yet we can walk in newness of life and the righteousness of the law begins to be fulfilled in us. For walking after the Spirit begins by minding the very things that the Spirit did for us. It’s not by focusing on Mosiac law for when we do we find ourselves in that wretched man syndrome that Paul talks about in Romans 7:7-24. If only people knew how simple it is, that it is by faith that we walk after the Spirit just as we were justified unto eternal life by faith. The work has been done for us and just like an apple tree doesn’t not have to labor to make its fruit, we must realize that the fruit of the Spirit is done by the Spirit working in us. It is the renewing of our mind, reckoning our new identity in Christ to be true, that we begin our walk with God.

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    • Dear Lacy,
      Sorry it took me so long to reply to you! I was so glad to hear that you have started to cover your head during prayer! How wonderful that another sister has been added to our group!

      You started out your comment by saying, “I didn’t want to fall in the temptation of high mindedness which I think is why head covering is often rejected. I wanted to do it for the right reasons.” Actually, I don’t personally know any women who headcover out of high mindedness. This must be a lot of people’s false perception of headcovering women; because why else would a woman want to do such a thing, except to feel like she’s better than others, right? I say this in good humor, and with a smile on my face. The truth of the matter is, the women I’ve read about who headcover, and the women I’ve come to know through my blog, are all very humble. It took a great step of obedience and submission to God’s Word for us to begin to do something so blatantly counter cultural! We have had to overcome many fears and insecurities. So no, I don’t really think that high mindedness is the main issue here–rather, the reason why most people don’t like headcovering, is that it goes against the grain of their liberal, feminist thinking. Even men sometimes think like feminists; they can’t help it. Their mothers may have brought them up that way, then their wives took over. Now, their daughters are making sure they get the picture. People don’t like headcovering, because of PRIDE, pure and simple. Women just don’t like the idea of submission, and men don’t want to be seen as overbearing bullies. Besides, how many men do you know, whose wives would obey them if they told them, “Honey, I think you should cover your head”? Their wives would laugh at them, like, “Are you kidding? I’m not gonna do that!” It’s the woman who has come to the place where she is humble and willing to receive correction from the Word of God who is able to finally realize how important the headcovering really is. Highmindedness probably doesn’t have that much to do with it. Who knows, though, maybe I just don’t know enough people; there is the possibility that there are some of those folks out there.

      Lacy, I GREATLY appreciate your reply, and say these things so that you won’t be afraid that you’re being haughty because you have started to headcover. You have actually demonstrated a beautiful spirit of humility and obedience to our Lord through your decision! I want to encourage you to continue following the Bible, and to not worry what other people might think of you!

      Also, I thought your comments regarding the issue of the believer’s justification and sanctification were profound, and I agree with you! Just the other day, I was thinking the same thing regarding the fruit a tree bears: it doesn’t have to work at it; the fruit just grows on its own. In a similar fashion, the fruit of the Spirit is produced in our lives as a natural consequence of 1) believing in Christ as Savior, and 2) soaking up God’s Word into our hearts. Some Christians, though, don’t spend enough time reading the Bible, and/or have hard hearts toward its instructions. The fruit of the Spirit isn’t being ABUNDANTLY produced in their lives yet. But you are not one of those people; clearly, the Lord is working in your heart to produce wonderful fruit in your life, and for that, I thank Him!

      So nice to hear from you! I hope to hear more from you in the future, if you want!
      Jessica

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      • I just realized that my article here kind of looks like I’m referencing high mindedness as a form of hypocrisy. Well, I think I was mostly trying to get at the issue of persevering in our obedience. It’s easy to revert back to our old ways, because the pull of the flesh is so strong. It’s simple to put a piece of cloth on our heads (though not easy to go against the tide of our culture, certainly!), but the hard work is in actually DOING the work of being submissive. We can’t just put on a headcovering and think, “Oh good. I’m now a submissive wife. Taken care of. Now I can sit back and relax.” No, the work’s just begun! Being obedient to God’s call on women is a day-to-day, moment-by-moment process. It is never done. We become hypocrites when we relax, and let ourselves think that the piece of fabric does the work for us. No, it’s just a tool, but the force lies within the actions and words that are the outcome of allowing that instrument to chisel away the excess.
        Thanks again for taking the time to comment on my blog; I truly am enjoying conversing with other ladies on this topic!
        Jessica

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  5. Dear Lacy,
    Hello, nice to meet you. My name is Kinuko and I am a friend of Jessica. I was very impressed by your sayings. Especially,,

    <For walking after the Spirit begins by minding the very things that the Spirit did for us. It’s not by focusing on Mosiac law for when we do we find ourselves in that wretched man syndrome that Paul talks about in Romans 7:7-24. If only people knew how simple it is, that it is by faith that we walk after the Spirit just as we were justified unto eternal life by faith. The work has been done for us and just like an apple tree doesn’t have to labor to make its fruit, we must realize that the fruit of the Spirit is done by the Spirit working in us. It is the renewing of our mind, reckoning our new identity in Christ to be true, that we begin our walk with God.

    the above part was eye-opening for me! "For walking after the Spirit begins by minding the very things that the Spirit did for us,,just like an apple tree doesn't have to labor to make its fruit, we must realize that the fruit of the Spirit is done by the Spirit working in us." Wow! It seems to me that you are a Spirit-filled thinking person. May God richly bless you. Kinuko

    p.s. I am a headcovering sister as well.

    Dear Jessica,
    Again, I want to express my deep gratitude for creating such a wonderful, friendly and truthful sphere. Now, I am corresponding with Sanae about predestination issue and He is helping me to clarify some of the issues which I had felt perplexed. Again, this thing would never have happened without your courageous post. I am so grateful for your being. Much love to you Jessica! Kinuko

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  6. I have a couple of questions, I am only new to this blog and am enjoying it. So I will give you a little background info as I really need some help, guidance and prayer in this. Last year I started to Headcover, I read heaps of info on the net for it and read ebooks on it as well in favour of it and read a few not in favour. Any way I did it , I feel I did anyway for the rights reasons. All the reasons you have stated in the posts I have read and my reasons were the same. But after a few months it felt like such a chore and become legalistic to me, I was feeling like it didn’t mean anything to me anymore and it felt like a burden to me. Another burden to add to the already stressful life we have. I think I cried over it as I didn’t want it to become that. So I stopped wearing it. I didn’t really care that much want others thought of me doing it. But it keeps coming to my attention time and time again, I want to Headcover but I don’t want it to end up the way it did before. I have been learning to be more submissive to my husband and cos of my personality it has been hard as I am the time to tell it like it is to my husband and didn’t realise I was being rude etc. We plan on moving in the new year and I have read for some ladies it Is much easier to start headcovering in a new church and am really thinking about using it as a opportunity to try again. Have you got any words or things I could read that will help me address this once and for all and for it not to become a burden. I have great respect for the Lord and want to please him in all I do. Thank you so much . God bless

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    • Dear Bec D,
      Thank you for sharing so candidly about your personal struggles. I always love to hear from other ladies about their own experiences with headcovering!

      You know, headcovering has at times been a struggle for me, too. Sometimes, after being disrespectful to my husband, I feel like such a hypocrite! I wonder if he thinks so, too… Then, I wonder what those angels who are watching must think of me…

      Well, what does one do after realizing that headcovering is more of a challenge than she thought it would be?

      This is what I’ve done:
      I simply keep going.

      Yes, it pains me to realize how far I am from what I should be. I, like you, feel frustrated at times. However, I know that if I stop headcovering because it’s hard to live up to the Bible’s standard of submission, I would be missing out on the opportunity to take advantage of the wonderful TOOL that God has given me (and us) through the headcovering, to REMIND us how we should be acting.

      It’s sort of like when your neighbors find out that you’re a Christian. Then, you think: “Oh, have I been ACTING like a Christian? I hope I haven’t done anything that would make them think poorly of me, especially now that they KNOW I’m a Christian!” But what if you haven’t acted like you should? Is that a good reason to stop sharing about Christ?

      Perhaps headcovering is similar. It is so obvious a sign, that it is unavoidable that others will see it and KNOW that we are trying to be submissive. And then, what if we aren’t submissive all the time? Is that a good reason to stop headcovering?

      It seems to me, that the best solution to both scenarios, is to simply keep going. We must rectify our behavior the best that we can, and apologize, if necessary, for any misbehavior. We must keep trying to do our best, all the while knowing that we aren’t perfect, and will probably continue to make mistakes from time-to-time.

      We must ask for God’s forgiveness, and receive His wonderful grace for our shortcomings!

      I think that you should keep headcovering, if your husband allows it. Maybe buy some new ones, for a fresh start. If it really is a huge struggle for you to headcover in public, try starting out by doing it just at home, during personal devotions and prayer. Then, you can “move up” to doing it at church during the service. Most people probably won’t say anything about it, anyway (that has been MY experience, at least). You might THINK that they are judging you, but they might not even think twice about your headcovering! Maybe, they’ll think it’s cute!

      You can also keep reading articles on the Head Covering Movement website for encouragement. And there are some very good audio sermons, and free e-books.

      Thanks again, for sharing your experience! I hope I’ve been helpful!
      Jessica

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      • I never had a problem headcovering in public, I am at the point for the most part with everything I don’t really care what others think about my choices if its honouring God who cares what others think, He is the only opinion that matters. My husband has never had a problem with headcovering and still doesn’t. I bought when I started wide headbands and bought a few of them as I have 2 daughters so I thought if that want to they can borrow them and share them between us. I guess to explain it in more depth for me it got to the point that every time I was praying i felt I had to go find it and put it on even while I was in bed ready to go to sleep. I am a person that prayers through out the day and at different times. Also I think I could say I grew up in a church and family that it’s like the God of the Old Testament , I have a fear of God to the point sometimes I cry and worry and stress that I might be out of Gods will that it makes my stomach go in knots and get anxiety about things. I get scared to the that point sometimes that I won’t move in fear of being smoted or something. My family does not Headcover by the way not that I care about it, and they don’t either , they are Christians and not like that. But I do know that the fear I have of God is probably too extreme, God does have mercy on us. I think a lot of it for me become a challenge maybe cos I wasn’t ready and my fear of God has to change and need to learn more about God of the New Testament. I have been a Christian since I was 19 I grew up in church etc but didn’t have a personal realationship with Christ. I think headcovering is a beautiful thing but I don’t want it to become just another fashion accessory, that I go off in a tangent about. You see I have always liked to show off my hair and make it pretty in braids and clips etc, and then God brought to my attention about headcovering, to me I knew it was God and not me , but I think I went the other way and jut made it another fashion accessory again, something I do not want to do. And also got myself in knots of crying if I didn’t th got to the point was why bother hence stopping it. I still have the wide head bands and scarfs, but I think my heart needs to be more in it than it is, God is working on me. Please pray for me about all this. Thank you for your reply

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      • Thank you, Bec D, for your response!
        I’m sorry I somewhat misunderstood you; thank you for clarifying.
        So, you are saying that you don’t want headcovering to turn into something legalistic for you, or to become another fashion accessory, am I right? I didn’t really think that you were AFRAID of other people’s opinions, but I did assume that perhaps you were worried that you weren’t being CONSISTENT with what the headcovering represents, and did not want to seem hypocritical.
        Here’s a great article that another lady who commented on this site linked to. I read the whole thing, and it was very intriguing. You might find it interesting, as well: https://bible.org/seriespage/22-1-corinthians-111-16-its-issues-and-implications
        Personally, I feel like the best thing for you to do, as I stated previously, is to simply keep going. Perhaps you feel unworthy of the covering, as if you aren’t living up to all it symbolizes. Just keep reminding yourself of it’s true meaning. There are various issues I struggle with in my life, that need constant “supervision” on my part, to make sure that I am keeping in line with the truth. Sometimes I fail, and sometimes I do okay. When I fail, I, like you, worry that I have let God down. He must be very unhappy with me, is what I tend to think. However, we need to remind ourselves that He has grace for our errors, especially when we are sincerely trying to do what’s right. And, He will continue to help us grow in Him, if our hearts our willing.
        Feel free to add any additional thoughts that you might have about this, or anything else. I have greatly enjoyed conversing with you on this topic! It’s an encouragement to know that I’m not the only one who deals with a fear of failure, or who is dealing with the challenge of trying to keep my focus on what’s most important, and not get tangled up in the externals.
        Jessica

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