My Faith Journey, Segment III: Radiant Joy

(This is the third part of a three-segment story. If you haven’t yet read them, please read Segment I and Segment II before continuing.)

Jesus Christ is my Savior. He is gentle and kind. He loves with a tender, yet powerful love. Nothing can separate true believers from Him, not even we ourselves.

I once heard a well-known pastor (David Hocking) mention on his radio program that believers are held firmly in the Savior’s hand: we might move from knuckle to knuckle, but we can never jump out of His grasp!  It is only those who never truly believed that are capable of turning their backs on the Savior forever. Those of us who have been born again can never be UN-born again; it just isn’t possible!

Looking back, I recognize God’s loving guidance throughout all the different stages of my life. As a child, God drew me to the Savior so that I could believe in Him and be saved from an eternity in hell. As a young woman, God protected me from many dangers as I put myself at risk by my foolish decisions. He whispered to my heart, and caused me to remember the simple relationship I used to have with Him. He reawakened in me a longing to return to His strong, protective, and affectionate embrace. Admitting the total disgustingness of my sin released me from its power, and cleared the way for me to renew my walk with God, unhindered. After that, He refreshed me with wave upon wave of His grace.

One of those waves came in the form of our neighbors, who invited us to their church. We had recently moved into a bigger place, and our new neighbors were Christians (I don’t think this was a coincidence). We at first politely rejected their invitations. I, for one, did not feel ready to face other Christians. How would they react once they found out about my sinful past, which was actually recent enough to still be “fresh”? Was I ready to explain myself? To prove to them I had truly repented? Would they accept me? I also didn’t know if I was ready to face the whole church atmosphere: the worship songs, the time of prayer, the preaching. Would I break down crying in the middle of the service — would I lose my composure? I wasn’t about to go to church and act like a hypocrite; but, was I ready to present to them the real me?

Eventually, we did visit their church. The people there treated us with warmth and kindness. As I had feared, I cried a little, but it happened during the altar call, when pretty much the whole congregation — even the more mature members — were all up front, pouring out their hearts to God. Nobody knew our story, but I got the feeling that even if they did, it wouldn’t change anything.

This was a new beginning for us.

I had already started to read the Bible again, but through our involvement with this church, I was motivated to continue. I felt like my soul was waking up after sleeping in a nightmare for a long time. Gradually, I began to open up my heart more fully to God through the worship songs and the times of prayer. I listened intently to the sermons. I devoured it all like a beggar shoving warm rolls into her mouth. Then, the pastor and his wife unexpectedly made a call at our house. All my fears flooded back. What would they say?

The pastor knew that we weren’t married. He knew there was something shady about our lives, and he wanted us to be honest with him. We were. Heart trembling, I helped explain our story, feeling I might break down weeping at any moment. I was a little surprised, then, when the pastor seemed satisfied with what we told him. He didn’t get angry. He didn’t say we were no longer welcome. He seemed relieved to hear that we knew we had been wrong and were trying to fix things. We were assured that they would love to have us continue coming to their church — every Sunday, if possible! — and that he would support us in repairing our damaged lives. Following that initial confrontation, which was much more friendly and gentle than I had imagined it would be, things rolled onward from there.

Several months later, we finally married, with our five- and two-year-old children joining in the ceremony. I prayed fervently that God would use our wedding as a beautiful testimony of His grace; I wanted other people to see God’s goodness in our lives and be inspired that if God could so lavishly pour out His blessings on us, then He could do the same for them, too. I believe that God answered my prayer.

Our wedding was a powerful experience, not only for the two of us, but for many others. Several guests came up to us with tears in their eyes, saying that they had never been to a wedding as beautiful as ours. They said that our love was so strong, it was obvious to everybody. And I’m here to tell you that it wasn’t a show!

We do love each other very much. A few months after our wedding, I became pregnant with our third child. Since then, we’ve had two more–five total! And our hearts are open to more, as many as God in His perfect wisdom designs to give us. I wouldn’t give a single one of them back, and I realize how much we would be missing if even just one of them hadn’t been conceived and born into this world! Our children, just like all children, are an amazing gift to us from a loving Father. Each one is a present, waiting to be unwrapped. Children are a blessing (Psalm 127), and they are always a blessing no matter what circumstances they may be born into. God has helped us learn this truth from His word. We have come to the point where we now place our trust in God as our Family Planner, but it took us awhile to get here. Several years passed before we were able, with God’s help, to throw off the baggage of the world’s system of doing things.

During our early years, especially before we were married, there were a lot of tensions and conflicts in our relationship. After we committed ourselves to each other through marriage, many of those problems were gradually resolved. Another very important factor was my husband becoming a born-again believer. By the grace of God, my soon-to-be husband accepted Christ as his Savior. Now, we have a harmonious and peaceful relationship. But we’re still growing! And I hope and pray that we never stop growing. My husband has developed into a sweet, considerate, strong man of God, who is patient with me even when I’m emotional and can’t stop crying. Early in our relationship, he would have just shook his head and walked away annoyed if he saw me crying over something “silly.” Now, he comes up to me, looks me directly in the eyes, draws me close in a warm embrace, and asks me what the problem is. As I pour out my heart to him, he listens attentively. He reminds me that he loves me, and tells me how beautiful I am to him. I LOVE MY HUSBAND!

He has changed, and I’ve changed. I used to yell a lot. And I used to throw things (I hate to admit it). I used to nag him until midnight. No wonder he got so annoyed with me! Little by little, the Lord showed me through His Word, and through reading godly women’s blog articles, that I was wrong in my controlling and disrespectful attitudes. Gradually, I began to change my behavior. In addition, I started wearing skirts and dresses only and began to use a headcovering as tangible reminders that my role is to submit to my husband’s leadership. If I step back, he will step in to fill the gap. I’ve noticed that my respect empowers him to be the leader that his heart naturally drives him to want to be. I’m still working on it, though. Sometimes I get in a bad mood, and find myself sinking back into being contentious and pushy–goodness, does this transforming process take a long time!

Additionally, God has knit us together as we study His Word with each other, and on our own. The only way we are able to experience true unity is by basing our lives on the Bible.

I love reading the Bible.

The Scripture that God breathed (2 Timothy 3:16) is my bread, my spiritual food (Matthew 4:1-4). I don’t need a miraculous experience, a vision, or a dream. Everything I need is found in the Word of God and in the Spirit of God. To look for anything beyond that might be considered idolatry, and might lead to heresy (though if God chooses to bless us with those things, that’s fine, because it’s His doing, not our looking for signs and wonders).

Thank You, God, for restoring me to a right relationship with you. Thank You for taking care of me all through my life. Thank You for never letting go of my hand, even though I temporarily began to sink down into the swirling, stormy waters. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit Who wouldn’t let me get away with my sin, but brought me conviction, and freed me from the traps of the devil. I love You, and I can’t wait for Jesus to come back, and to be with Him forever. Thank You for Your care for me and my family as You provide our daily bread, even much beyond our needs. Thank You for Your power that guards us from harm, and that sustains us even when You allow us to go through difficult and painful times. I know You have forgiven me of my sins. Please continue to help us grow in You, to learn more about You every day, and to mature as You make us more like Christ. Thank You for the fruits of the Spirit that You are producing in us. Give us wisdom to deal with the problems that surface in our lives. We look to You for our help, and no other. Thank you. 

At this point, please allow me to answer the questions that I presented to you in Segment I. Through further study, I have been able to find answers to those doubts I had as a teenager and younger woman. However, I am still learning–more every day! I appreciate everything my parents did for us in homeschooling us and raising us with the Bible as a guide. Their hard work paid off! What I learned from my home studies provided an excellent base from which to expand out into further study. I don’t consider that being home educated handicapped me in any way. To the contrary, it equipped me to have the tools to know how to deal with the problems that I faced later in life. If there were any gaps, they are now being filled as I continue to research. My husband and I have decided to home educate our own children, and it is one of the best things we’ve ever done! There is more order and harmony in our home (most days, ha, ha). We are more unified. And we have plenty of time for each other, and for reading good books!

Now, the Q & A (the answers are the short version–I don’t have room here to address every concern–there are books for that! The following was taken mostly from the books The Case for Christ, by Lee Strobel; The New Evidence that Demands a Verdict, by Josh McDowell; and Strange Fire, by John MacArthur. I am not a teacher of theology. I don’t know all the answers to every question (actually, no one does). What you will read next is simple apologetics; it is what I needed to know in order to solidify my faith.

THE BIBLE

1. How do we know that the authors of the Bible actually heard from God? Couldn’t they have just written down what they wanted to, and then said that it was from God? The real test here is PROPHECY. If someone claiming to speak for God predicted something which later came to pass exactly as he predicted, then the prophet was from God. The Bible has numerous recorded prophesies, of which many have already been perfectly fulfilled, while some are yet to be fulfilled.
2. How do we know that the prophesies in the Bible were given before the events happened? For example, take the prophesies in the book of Daniel about the major kingdoms of the world (Babylonia, Persia, Greece, Rome): wouldn’t it be possible for someone to have recorded those things afterward, pretending that they had already been prophesied? One way to determine this is by comparing the content of that particular book of the Bible to archaeological finds. Regarding the book of Daniel, for example, there is strong evidence for dating it as it has been traditionally dated. As we see the content of the book and the archaeological finds coinciding, we are struck by the fact that only someone actually living during that time period would have an intimate familiarity with the customs, musical instruments and names of places and kings of that time. 
3. How do we know that as the Bible was copied over and over, nothing was lost? Is the Bible we have today an accurate record of what was originally written down? A comparison of our oldest texts with the Bible we have today makes it clear that the original writings have been faithfully preserved. There have only been minor discrepancies such as different spellings, for example. Also, the customs of the scribes who copied the Old Testament Scriptures were very methodical and precise. The New Testament was written down at a time when people were still living who had seen those same events recorded in the Bible take place. They could have spoken up and accused the authors of telling lies, if they weren’t telling the truth.  
4. Why do we have so many Bible translations? What are the differences among them, why are there any differences at all, and which one contains the word of God? The answer to this is complex. To put it simply, most differences in translation are minimal. Like if I said “running wild” while someone else might say “unrestrained.” The meaning is the same, just different words. Translators sometimes make small changes to convey the meaning of a text more accurately. However, none of the major doctrines of Christianity are affected by any of these minor corrections (this excludes the New World Translation of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, which has some changes which DO greatly affect some major doctrines, but the scholarship of this translation is in question). We can be sure that even though we do not have the original texts, the copies available today reliably preserve the original content. 
5. How do we know that the books which are currently included in the Bible, are the ones God intended to be compiled? How did people go about deciding which books, or letters, to include and which ones to leave out? Doesn’t that show human manipulation? Why don’t Evangelical Christians use the Apocrypha? If a prophet spoke a word supposedly from God, and that prophetic word proved accurate, then the people knew that God was speaking through that person; his words could be considered as coming from God (with a zero percent margin for error). The words of the apostles which are recorded in the New Testament could easily be corroborated by other people still alive during the time the N.T. was being written. People didn’t just up and decide which books of the Bible to include, and which to leave out: the writings of men already known to be inspired of God were held as Scripture right from the beginning. Those books written well after the time of the apostles do not have the apostolic stamp. Only the books written by the apostles themselves, and other men ordained by God during the time of the apostles, are considered Scripture.    
6. Why did God only speak to the Jewish people? Why don’t we (Evangelical Christians) consider the Koran to be inspired by God, or the Indian Vedas? What about the Book of Mormon? How about supposed “revelations” that some claim come from God? God only spoke to the Jewish people because He’s God, and that’s the way He decided to do it. Not that He never gave dreams or messages to non-Jewish people: Pharaoh of Egypt and Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon received special dreams from God. However, they were not used by God to write the Bible. The Israeli people were chosen by God to be His instrument for recording His word, and also as His channel through which would come the Messiah. They continue to be God’s special people even today. The Bible has been attested to by fulfilled prophecies, and accurate historical details. Can any other book or revelation claim the same? 
   • Is the Bible True? Read many articles from Answers in Genesis 

JESUS

1. Did Jesus really rise from the dead? The Bible says that lots of people saw Him; but couldn’t they have gotten together and decided they would all say that they had seen him, when they had not? Well, if they had done that, they had multiple enemies who would have been quick to mercilessly point out their error! Also, the fact that the apostles were martyred for their faith is very telling. Who would willingly die for something that he knows to be a lie? Radical Muslims commit suicide by blowing themselves up–but they do it because they believe the Koran to be true. But if they knew it to be a lie, could they really be convinced to give up their lives? Most people don’t die for what they know is a lie. Our lives are too precious to us.  
2. Can the biblical accounts of Jesus’ life be trusted? Is it possible that the authors of the New Testament just made up what they wanted to believe, instead of what actually happened? Again, there were multitudes of people who could call them out on their error. In the gospels, we have eyewitness accounts, not second-hand fabrications. 
3. Are there any sources outside of the Bible itself that mention Jesus? What do they say about Him? Actually, there are. For example, some rabbinic accounts refer to Him in a derisive manner as a worker of magic tricks, which betrays the fact that He did indeed perform mysterious deeds that couldn’t just be explained away.
4. How do we know that Jesus did all those miracles? There are so many con artists today who trick gullible people into believing that they have power from God; could a man named Jesus have convinced others that He was able to perform miracles, when there may have been a natural explanation for the events that occurred? The miracles that Jesus performed couldn’t be duplicated. No one was doing the wonders that He was performing. No one. The greatest of which was His resurrection from the dead. The disciples followed Him to the death. No one would do that for someone they knew to be a con artist. 
5. Did the man Jesus ever exist? How do we know He wasn’t a myth popularized by a people hungry for a Messiah? Secular sources from that time mention Him. The eyewitness accounts of the gospels proclaim Him. He definitely wasn’t a myth. And He is the Messiah–we need wait no longer!
   • Find Answers to Your Faith Questions–Lee Strobel website (The Case for Christ)